Oh God No…
You can really collect a lot of foot shavings if you are a dedicated foot-grater and use your Ped Egg on the daily
as my relative did
12/— Sarah Gailey (@gaileyfrey) December 7, 2016
(my apologies to everyone who
If you don't empty your Ped Egg frequently, it can get
*pretty much packed*
with foot shavings
(sorry)
13/— Sarah Gailey (@gaileyfrey) December 7, 2016
Back to the story.
My ex raised the thing to eye level, looked at me, and pushed the button.
And the thing in his hand sprang open.
14/— Sarah Gailey (@gaileyfrey) December 7, 2016
Oh my God I’m gagging.
My relative's foot shavings ERUPTED from within the Ped Egg like an explosion of flesh confetti
15/
— Sarah Gailey (@gaileyfrey) December 7, 2016
"What was that?!" he yelled, frantically slapping at his face, trying to whisk the foot crumbs out of his eyelashes
16/
— Sarah Gailey (@gaileyfrey) December 7, 2016
I was laughing so hard that I was in very real danger of peeing myself and the only word I managed to choke out was
"feet"
17/— Sarah Gailey (@gaileyfrey) December 7, 2016
UGHHHHHHHHHH.
THAT is why you ALWAYS listen to your girlfriend. Because if you don't, you end up with a foot in your mouth.
And nose.
And eyes.
~fin~— Sarah Gailey (@gaileyfrey) December 7, 2016
I think I’m going to go vomit for a moment. I’ll BRB.
Seriously, that’s disgusting. But, how brilliant of a story-teller is Sarah? I was left at suspense until I read the entire thread and now – I’m grossed out but also going to tell my boyfriend he has to listen to everything I say from now on or he may end up with someone else’s foot shavings all in his mouth. Gross. Twitter, of course, had a lot to say, too – like how this was the BEST story they’ve ever heard.
NOTHING IS MORE SUBLIME THAN THIS TALE
NOTHING EVER
IT PROVES THE UNIVERSE MAY BE A GOOD PLACE SECRETLY
— Chuck Wendig (@ChuckWendig) December 7, 2016
I fucking love you, girl ❤️
— ??? µ µ ??✒️ (@ivegotamuon) December 9, 2016
Oh. Em. Gee. This is soooooo funny. Thank you for sharing.
Glad you kicked that horrid guy to the curb, tho.
— Semiotic Hatpin (@semiotic_pirate) October 9, 2017
this was magic thanks for sharing
— Popi Mokorahi ? (@Megapope) December 28, 2016
you are the best. I needed that laugh. I have a very similar culprit waiting for me downstairs. #karmicjustice
— whokickedthegateopen (@whokickedit) December 9, 2016
Best. Tweet(s). Ever.
— RemytheWineMonster (@WineAndMonsters) December 9, 2016
I am so dead right now call da ambalance! ???? Bunion Dust! Somewhere in an alternate universe he suffocated from it as well.
— ●ℬℯℓℓa✦ℬℯℓℓa●™ (@BayyBeeBella) December 9, 2016
sweet Jesus ????????
— ?? (@WarriorKing85) December 8, 2016
— Julie Price (@JuliePee) December 8, 2016
PAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAH! ???
— Keith Judge (@KeefJudge) December 8, 2016
Brava, Sarah.