We have all seen the crazy videos on Facebook where really pretty girls with a full head of hair and makeup done are in their bathroom scrubbing what looks to be tar all over their pearly whites. That tar looking substance is actually activated charcoal and those girls swear by it explaining that it’s what made their teeth look white in all their videos and selfies. It seems impossible. How could soaking your white teeth in a dark black substance make them sparkle?
I was super interested in seeing what was so great about using the charcoal so, I tried it out myself.
Using activated charcoal on your teeth was simple for me to do. There are a ton of different brands on the market but, essentially they are all made and used the same way. The charcoal comes in a small container with a toothbrush. All you have to do is wet the toothbrush just a tad, dip it into the charcoal and brush away. It will look as if you poured asphalt all over your teeth but after a few minutes of brushing, you will have some sparkly white teeth. Or at least that’s what the ads say.
It all sounded way to good to be true but also like an accident waiting to happen. I figured with the luck that I have in life my teeth would probably remain permanently black for good but I was so intrigued and had to give charcoal a try anyway.
The Molr Dental Club Carbon + Coconut Teeth Whitening Powder and Toothbrush seemed legit and it had some good online reviews. I decided to purchase the kit in hopes of having my own set of pearly whites (because there is no whitening app for photos that really does my smile justice).
I have quite a few complaints in regards to the charcoal whitening kit and just like with an ex, I’ll never go back.
1.
My first complaint is that is was messy. After unscrewing the lid I noticed a small plastic covering still over the top of the container. That lid, let me tell you, was stuck on like glue. Literal gorilla glue was used in the making of this product.
After a few tugs I finally got the darn lid off, and half of the charcoal powder all over my bathroom floor. (Like I mentioned earlier, an accident waiting to happen, and then it happened; three times over).
So there I am with charcoal powder all over my floor trying to figuring out how to clean up this mess. Acting on impulse I grab a Swifter Wet-Jet which is now ruined. Completely ruined, along with my bathroom floor.
Here is a fun fact for you, charcoal stains all surfaces, and clothing; as well as hands. It stains everything except your teeth – apparently.
The only thing my Swifter was good for was smearing the black charcoal into my floor more and all in between the grout of the titles. My townhouse now looks 200 years old instead of 100 with all the charcoal floating around in between my bathroom tiles.
The charcoal becomes “activated” when you use a wet toothbrush and that is how it rubs in nice on your teeth. My Swifter activated it all into the floor and now has been squirting out black charcoal water for the last three days. I still have not cleaned the grout completely but that is beside the point.
2.
My second complaint is that instead of whitening my teeth it made them sensitive as hell and it hurt. I think it hurt worse than a shot at the doctor’s office (not an exaggeration).
The second I started brushing the charcoal on my teeth I felt dirty. It felt like NYC sewage was swirling around in my mouth. Appetizing right?
About three seconds later I began to feel an awful burning sensation. My mouth felt on fire and I thought that was the end of its life. I instantly spit out that black tar into the sink, and rinsed my mouth out to see my gums redder than ever. As I spit some more I began to taste blood.
Blood is a no go for me.
I tossed that charcoal right into the trash and it is now on the “Never Going Back List,” with all my exes.
10/10 would NOT recommend.
Before:
After:
Literally no change.