3. Compromise only works if you go into it with an open mind.
There are going to be conversations you and your partner have that are difficult and challenging, they will require you to step out of your comfort zone and into a place you’re not used to – let’s call this the “unfamiliar zone.” You’re not used to some things your partner needs and wants in the relationship, maybe your past partner’s were not the same and did not desire the same things – that’s completely okay. But, you can’t go into it with a closed-off mentality because it’s unfamiliar. The unfamiliar zone is pretty terrifying because it requires you sometimes to be vulnerable – because, you aren’t sure what’s going to happen, it’s the “fear of the unknown.” Keep an open mind and really listen when your significant other is expressing themselves and their emotions.
4. Compromise – and relationships overall – are a give and take.
If your partner expresses himself and his needs and you step out of your own comfort zone to come to a compromise, they should be doing the same. You cannot be the only one who is compromising in the relationship, and the same goes both ways. You cannot expect your partner to always be compromising and changing their habits and ways without you ever budging to make any remotely small change in your habits or behavior. Relationships, always, are a give and take. They will not be equal every single day you are together – some days you’ll give more, other days you’ll take more – but it’s a journey you are both on together. It’s not always going to be stagnant, it’s going to change and have lots of ups and downs.
5. People will treat you the way you teach them to treat you.
My mother once told me when I was very young that you teach people how you deserve to be treated, and, it’s a lesson that has stuck with me my entire life because – it’s nothing but the cold hard truth. You teach people the way in which you want to be loved and treated by what you allow. If you are constantly allowing your partner to sit back and relax, never making any changes or compromises to better suit your needs and desires, they will think that the relationship is all take and no give. You have conditioned your partner to believe this because from day one, you have been the door-mat. You can’t expect that a year down the road together he is going to automatically change because you say so. No. You have for too long conditioned him to believe that you will be okay with this behavior. From day one, make sure you speak up and address your needs – communicate. In the long-run, it will pay off overall.