In the wake of the Harvery Weinstein news (that he’s a complete monster if you didn’t hear) there’s been a disturbing influx of men saying that sexual assault horrifies them because they “have a daughter.”
It’s understandable, of course. If you have a daughter you obviously wouldn’t want her to be sexually assaulted, or live in a world that protected sexual predators while exploiting her. But also — why is that the reason you care?
Can’t you be horrified by sexual assault because you’re a human being who doesn’t want other human beings to be taken advantage of? Wouldn’t it be cool if you thought women were people before or regardless of you having a daughter? Lots of folks think so.
Twitter has been hard at work pointing out the complete ridiculousness of dudes thinking they suddenly have something to say about rape culture because of their daughters:
Men who talk about Harvey keep mentioning their daughters like it finally gives them skin in this game pic.twitter.com/WA4yWk94Np— Kyle Buchanan (@kylebuchanan) October 10, 2017
for heaven's sake retire "as a father of daughters" rhetoric— karen h. (@karenyhan) October 10, 2017
Dear Men, Please remove the phrase "as a husband and/or a father of daughters" from your vocabulary. Women exist outside your bubble.— Abigail Shirley (@abzdafab) October 10, 2017
"But I'm a father of daughters!" is the new "but I have black friends!" https://t.co/AntbSpE47u— Alicia Lutes (@alicialutes) October 10, 2017
PSA: If your reason for wanting to end rape culture is that you're "the father of a daughter," you need to reorient your moral compass.— Deb Filcman (@DebFilcman) October 11, 2017
Additionally, some have suggested that a much more productive conversation can be had with sons, rather than about daughters.
"As a father of a daughter" yadda yadda yadda...— Darren Whitfield?? (@darrenwhitfield) October 11, 2017
How about: "As a father of a son, I'll teach him not to be a dick & respect women"...
And combatting the suggestion that having a daughter is the only thing that could humanize women for dads.
As the father of a daughter, I too am sick and damn tired of dads invoking daughters to condemn sexual predators, Really, it took dadhood? https://t.co/DvgDt0MOho— (((Jason Fuhrman))) (@jason_m_fuhrman) October 11, 2017
imagine how shitty the men WITHOUT daughters must be. they can't even see women. they just see a gray outline like in that Black Mirror ep.— Angie J. Han (@ajhan) October 10, 2017
As the daughter of a father and mother to 2 dogs, I can honestly say I had no idea women are people too— Angela (@justokangela) October 11, 2017
As the father of 25 daughters, I'm starting to think women might actually be people— Jess Dweck (@TheDweck) October 11, 2017
Don't give me that "As a father of daughters" bullshit. You shouldn't have to have a daughter to realize women deserve better— rachel leishman (@RachelLeishman) October 11, 2017
All in all, the takeaway is “stop.”
Sexual assault and rape culture won’t be ended by men suddenly wanting to protect their daughters after horrible news about a man comes out. The whole point of rape culture is that we all participate in it unless we’re actively fighting it.
So while it’s nice that you woke up to the fact that women are people, it’s pretty s***y that it only happened now.