We all have conflicting thoughts when it comes to being single.
On the one hand, you’re free to do pretty much whatever you want. You’re not beholden to anyone else’s feelings, you can travel and party and screw around and not worry about what anyone else thinks.
On the other hand, your loneliness is a soul-crushing feeling that keeps you up at night wondering if anyone will ever love you, or if you’re destined to die alone. I mean not really, but… a little bit.
If you’re feeling the single-blues, try reading these hilarious Tweets from ladies who are single AF. It’ll help you feel less alone in this Tinder-filled world of lame hookups and eating Chinese food by yourself.
*still no response to text 3 years later*— bananafanafofisa (@lisaxy424) September 21, 2015
wow he's so busy
when the fuccbois can't even faze you no more pic.twitter.com/fJAY7hBHW2— the garbage shit boy (@davedittell) January 10, 2016
Relationship Status: just tried to reach for my dog's paw and he pulled it away so I pretended I was reaching for the remote.— Baby Swayze (@buhsbaby_baby) September 19, 2015
I'm single but sometimes I look in the mirror and practice telling my mom that I'm getting a divorce.— Morgan Murphy (@morgan_murphy) July 30, 2013
Sometimes I wonder if I'm pregnant and then I realize I would have to be like 19 months pregnant— Mary Kobayashi (@MaryKoCo) November 5, 2012
I love when your family friends are always like "oh sweetie you're gonna break some hearts one day" like yea Aunt Kathy my own, 15 times.— Maria Humayun (@Maria_Humayun) August 16, 2017
pictured: every single tinder date I've ever been on pic.twitter.com/r76lZ9tQGs— Dana Schwartz (@DanaSchwartzzz) May 3, 2017
ME: If we get nuked I hope my cats live. They can eat my corpse for sustenance. I'd be fine with that.— Mara Wilson (@MaraWilson) July 28, 2017
DAD: So you're still single
In my spare time I like to read, write, and fall in love with unavailable people.— Anastasia (@the_anastasia) November 6, 2015
THE GHOSTS OF YOUR FAILED RELATIONSHIPS ARE SPEAKING TO YOU THROUGH ITUNES SHUFFLE— Charlene deGuzman (@charstarlene) May 25, 2013
Gather 'round you single losers so I can throw my used flowers at you -Brides— Randi Lawson (@RandiLawson) May 1, 2015
me: i'm so lonely— Funny Tweets™ (@Lmao) June 24, 2013
me: leave me alone
when you realize candy has a better love life than you pic.twitter.com/3cOMDS98Is— sarcasm (@ThatsSarcasm) February 3, 2016
anxiety got me approaching relationships like pic.twitter.com/DOXG9qB8us— Sophia Benoit (@1followernodad) October 12, 2016
[1st date]— paperwash© (@PaperWash) September 30, 2015
me: are you cold?
date: *shivering* a little
me: *putting second hoody on* that sucks
Probs the worst is when someone dates you & then gets back with their ex cause they tried something new but the old shitty option was better— Sophia Benoit (@1followernodad) January 2, 2015
Me: He didn't text back, he was probably just tired from work— Kermit (@ltsKermit) November 30, 2016
Inner me: Text him "have a good life" pic.twitter.com/ov3HWGLuPi
him: your single? why?— Dani Fernandez (@msdanifernandez) May 3, 2015
sometimes I get sad cus I'm single then I remember Rihanna is single n I get happy then I remember Rihanna is wealthy n I get sad again— Princess Jeffery (@LilGlolita) April 30, 2016
me realizing i have a crush on someone pic.twitter.com/dPuNUnIm6g— Hannah Giorgis (@ethiopienne) March 9, 2017
Went into a store w/ wet nails & asked the cashier 2 pull a cig outta my purse & he said "get a boyfriend so you don't have to be like this"— Slendermommy (@molls) August 31, 2013
Single and ready to get nervous around anyone I find attractive.— Sarcasm (@TheFunnyTeens) October 10, 2015
Being single is cool bc you can eat a whole jar of pepperoncinis and spend the rest of the night farting spicily into the abyss— Shira (@shiraselko) October 3, 2013
5 stages of being single: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, texting your ex something random then going like "sorry wrong message"— Mae (@mzeld) January 10, 2015
I don't understand why I'm single my hobbies include smelling my own hair and bragging about how I'm immune to bats— dream ghoul (@TheDreamGhoul) September 3, 2015
Humans bored on Earth are like "Look, there's water on that cold, distant, unattainable planet," and that's also a good metaphor for dating.— Elizabeth Hackett (@LizHackett) September 28, 2015
When you discover a whale can attract a partner in 15 minutes and you can't find one for years. #SingleProblems— Sassy (@Sassy2Tweet) October 21, 2016
So single that I'm starting a recycling program- dudes from years ago are back in my life. Super environmental.— Laura (@LauraLikesWine) April 17, 2015