We all have conflicting thoughts when it comes to being single.
On the one hand, you’re free to do pretty much whatever you want. You’re not beholden to anyone else’s feelings, you can travel and party and screw around and not worry about what anyone else thinks.
On the other hand, your loneliness is a soul-crushing feeling that keeps you up at night wondering if anyone will ever love you, or if you’re destined to die alone. I mean not really, but… a little bit.
If you’re feeling the single-blues, try reading these hilarious Tweets from ladies who are single AF. It’ll help you feel less alone in this Tinder-filled world of lame hookups and eating Chinese food by yourself.
1.
*still no response to text 3 years later*
wow he's so busy
— bananafanafofisa (@lisaxy424) September 21, 2015
2.
when the fuccbois can't even faze you no more pic.twitter.com/fJAY7hBHW2
— the garbage shit boy (@davedittell) January 10, 2016
3.
Relationship Status: just tried to reach for my dog's paw and he pulled it away so I pretended I was reaching for the remote.
— Baby Swayze (@buhsbaby_baby) September 19, 2015
4.
I'm single but sometimes I look in the mirror and practice telling my mom that I'm getting a divorce.
— Morgan Murphy (@morgan_murphy) July 30, 2013
5.
Sometimes I wonder if I'm pregnant and then I realize I would have to be like 19 months pregnant
— Mary Kobayashi (@MaryKoCo) November 5, 2012
6.
I love when your family friends are always like "oh sweetie you're gonna break some hearts one day" like yea Aunt Kathy my own, 15 times.
— Maria Humayun (@Maria_Humayun) August 16, 2017
7.
pictured: every single tinder date I've ever been on pic.twitter.com/r76lZ9tQGs
— Dana Schwartz (@DanaSchwartzzz) May 3, 2017
8.
ME: If we get nuked I hope my cats live. They can eat my corpse for sustenance. I'd be fine with that.
DAD: So you're still single— Mara Wilson (@MaraWilson) July 28, 2017
9.
In my spare time I like to read, write, and fall in love with unavailable people.
— Anastasia (@the_anastasia) November 6, 2015
10.
THE GHOSTS OF YOUR FAILED RELATIONSHIPS ARE SPEAKING TO YOU THROUGH ITUNES SHUFFLE
— Charlene deGuzman (@charstarlene) May 25, 2013
11.
Gather 'round you single losers so I can throw my used flowers at you -Brides
— Randi Lawson (@RandiLawson) May 1, 2015
12.
me: i'm so lonely
person: hey
me: leave me alone
— Funny Tweets™ (@Lmao) June 24, 2013
13.
when you realize candy has a better love life than you pic.twitter.com/3cOMDS98Is
— sarcasm (@ThatsSarcasm) February 3, 2016
14.
anxiety got me approaching relationships like pic.twitter.com/DOXG9qB8us
— Sophia Benoit (@1followernodad) October 12, 2016
15.
[1st date]
me: are you cold?
date: *shivering* a little
me: *putting second hoody on* that sucks
— paperwash© (@PaperWash) September 30, 2015
16.
Probs the worst is when someone dates you & then gets back with their ex cause they tried something new but the old shitty option was better
— Sophia Benoit (@1followernodad) January 2, 2015
17.
Me: He didn't text back, he was probably just tired from work
Inner me: Text him "have a good life" pic.twitter.com/ov3HWGLuPi
— Kermit (@ltsKermit) November 30, 2016
18.
him: your single? why?
me: you're*
— Dani Fernandez (@msdanifernandez) May 3, 2015
19.
sometimes I get sad cus I'm single then I remember Rihanna is single n I get happy then I remember Rihanna is wealthy n I get sad again
— Princess Jeffery (@LilGlolita) April 30, 2016
20.
me realizing i have a crush on someone pic.twitter.com/dPuNUnIm6g
— Hannah Giorgis (@ethiopienne) March 9, 2017
21.
— hElEn (@helenadonahue) August 20, 2017
22.
Went into a store w/ wet nails & asked the cashier 2 pull a cig outta my purse & he said "get a boyfriend so you don't have to be like this"
— Slendermommy (@molls) August 31, 2013
23.
Single and ready to get nervous around anyone I find attractive.
— Sarcasm (@TheFunnyTeens) October 10, 2015
24.
Being single is cool bc you can eat a whole jar of pepperoncinis and spend the rest of the night farting spicily into the abyss
— Shira (@shiraselko) October 3, 2013
25.
5 stages of being single: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, texting your ex something random then going like "sorry wrong message"
— Mae (@mzeld) January 10, 2015
26.
I don't understand why I'm single my hobbies include smelling my own hair and bragging about how I'm immune to bats
— dream ghoul (@TheDreamGhoul) September 3, 2015
27.
Humans bored on Earth are like "Look, there's water on that cold, distant, unattainable planet," and that's also a good metaphor for dating.
— Elizabeth Hackett (@LizHackett) September 28, 2015
28.
When you discover a whale can attract a partner in 15 minutes and you can't find one for years. #SingleProblems
— Sassy (@Sassy2Tweet) October 21, 2016
29.
So single that I'm starting a recycling program- dudes from years ago are back in my life. Super environmental.
— Laura (@LauraLikesWine) April 17, 2015