People Are Snorting Chocolate For Energy, Because They’re Too Stupid For Coffee

Sometimes, the people of the Internet have me at a loss. I cannot fathom the correct words to sum up their stupidity. Like, these people, who are snorting chocolate in order to obtain some “quick energy.”

Coco Loko is a Florida based company run by a 29-year-old who learned about snorting chocolate while overseas in Europe. My guess is simply that he was too broke from boozing to afford a decent cup of coffee. Instead of being a normal human being and grabbing a RedBull or an espresso shot, he decided snorting chocolate was a way, way better way to get sh*t done.

Coco Loko is “organic, cocoa snuff,” that you snort for a “sudden burst of energy.” It markets for $24.99. According to the company, the “feeling lasts from 30 minutes to 1 hour before wearing off.”

Or, you know, you can go spend $4.99 on a cup of coffee with a turbo shot – you idiots.

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Written by Lex Gabrielle

A writer and teacher from New York City who fully supports messy buns and 3+ cups of coffee a day.