Have you ever started dating a guy and been uncomfortable with the amount of female friends they have in their life? Do you get uneasy with the amount they text said female friends? Are you jaded when you see them liking each others’ photos and posts on social media?
In my adolescent years of watching my friends in the dating pool, I’ve seen time and time again that my friends will get angry with their boyfriends whenever they interact with other females. In my adult years of watching my friends in the dating pool, I’ve seen time and time again that my friends will get angry with their boyfriends whenever they interact with other females. I’ve come to realize that it has nothing to do with maturity of individuals and more to do with trust within a relationship.
My boyfriend’s life doesn’t revolve around me – he had a life full of friendships and relationships before me and I don’t expect him to drop everything from his past just because we made a choice to create a future.
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Why should your boyfriend cut people off because you’re insecure in your relationship? He shouldn’t.
You see, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with a guy having female friends while in a relationship with his girlfriend. In fact, it’s really f*cking healthy. You know what’s not healthy?
Making a guy feel bad for having friends who can’t control the fact that they have a vagina.
Are you going to cut off all of your male friends because you have a boyfriend? No.
If you’re uncomfortable with your boyfriend having friends who happen to be females – it says more about you than it does about him. It says a lot about your relationship and your stance on relationships overall, too.
If you’re the type of woman who isn’t okay with him talking to girls who happen to be his good friends, it means that you have serious trust issues. In fact – they probably go deeper than you think.
Of course, there are always exceptions to everything – you may be dating a guy who’s shady about his female friends and hides things from you. But, if you’re in that type of relationship, you know that you have bigger issues than just that and it’s time to get out.
Being overly jealous isn’t attractive – it’s not effective either. In fact, it pushes people away when you try to control their lives.
If my boyfriend wants to have girl friends – so be it – I embrace that. My boyfriend is a great guy, I’d probably want to be friends with him, too. There’s a reason you’re dating him, no?
If something ends up happening down the road that I’m uncomfortable with – say, someone steps over the line – I’ll take that up with him. But, I know I won’t need to, because I’m in a relationship where honesty is on the forefront.
When you’re in a relationship with someone like this, you should be open and honest with each other at all times. There’s no room for hiding friendships or sneaking around because you don’t lie to each other – which should put your worries at ease when it comes to female friendships.
These relationships mean that you’ll most likely meet these girls that he’s friends with anyway and, I’m sure you guys will probably hit it off, too. They’ll probably be the ones who have your back when your boyfriend disagrees with you and they’ll even help him with ideas for you when special occasions come around (hint hint, anniversary gifts).
So, chill TF out and stop being a crazy girlfriend – realize that it is possible for men and women to be just friends and embrace the fact that he chose to be with you.