Yes I got a vibrator stuck inside myself this morning. Working From Home doesn’t prevent Workplace Injuries.
— Ginny Hogan_ (@ginnyhogan_) July 3, 2019
Hey men: don't fret.
Vibrators can't kill spiders or pick up a pizza on the way home.
— Eden Dranger (@Eden_Eats) August 6, 2014
Ugh – NEVER going to a Ryan Gosling movie in a theater again. Apparently masturbating in the back row is still considered "inappropriate"
— Anna Kendrick (@AnnaKendrick47) January 14, 2013
When I masturbate I sound like I'm singing along to the guitar solo in November Rain.
— Edgar Allan Hoe (@Slashleen) August 25, 2011
is ‘beatboxing’ a good euphemism for female masturbation? asking for a friend. she’s a world class beatboxer.
— Bec Shaw (@Brocklesnitch) April 7, 2015
It's so awkward when you shout out someone else's hand during masturbation
— Megan Amram (@meganamram) December 24, 2012
Why is it called masturbation and not beating around your bush?
— Ovary Action (@Bripping_Talls) November 18, 2017
i masturbate a lot when i’m stressed & by the end of this week my pussy is going to look like a stepped on pie
— Edgar Allan Hoe (@Slashleen) June 19, 2019
My friend just told me she named her vibrator Sebastian because “darling it’s better, down where it’s wetter.” I. Fucking. Can’t.
— Arielle Scarcella (@ArielleScarcell) May 11, 2018
Because masturbating during a meeting is frowned upon.
— Carbosly (@Carbosly) November 11, 2014