There are many times throughout your life when you are going to butt heads with other people or be judged by others. It’s not always going to be your fault, but, there are occurrences that will arise in which you are on “trial” with other people in your life. People will come at you, full force, if they think you’re in the wrong. But, who can you turn to when you feel the entire world is against you?
Who are you to go to for support and a helping hand when people would rather see you broken, beat, and bent than thriving? Especially, when we’re the ones who have screwed up.
Many times in a relationship, we turn to our partner for love and support—especially when we feel as though we’re being attacked. We look to our significant others for comfort, for guidance, and for above all—support. Many question, however, what the right thing to do is if your significant other needs support, but they are the ones who are in the wrong. Does being in a relationship with someone mean always standing up for them, even if they are the ones who have f*cked up?
In short—yes, yes it does.
Being in a relationship means that above all, you and your partner are on a team. It’s you two against the world. In public, you should have their back—defend them when people are ripping on them, having their back when others are trying to tear them down. Behind closed doors—that’s your own, personal business and discussion to have.
When the world is up against your partner, it’s your job to defend her as your teammate, your partner, your co-pilot. You may disagree with them, and later when you’re alone, you may explain to them why they are in the wrong—but to the rest of the world? You’re there to support them.
Alejandra Siroka, founder of Language Alchemy, a communication consulting and coaching firm based in San Francisco, claims that if a partner doesn’t side with their girlfriend/boyfriend, it can leave the other party feeling unsupported, unseen, and abandoned. Sometimes, they even feel betrayed and hurt. Overall, lack of support and comfort can be toxic for a relationship moving forward.
Siroka offered solid advice when it comes to standing up for your partner when they’re wrong, too. In fact, there are many times when couples face this issue. Think of all of the times your boyfriend has gotten wasted and acted a fool—your friends judge him and drag him, but you defend him instead of dragging him, too. Siroka says that taking your partner’s side should be you as a “loving and supportive ally.” It’s not that you agree with them when they’re wrong—it’s that you know that the events transpiring are not indicative of who they are as a person.
You explain to people that—standing up for them—proving that he/she is a better person than their actions or words at that given moment are proving. We all have our faults, and we all make mistakes. The worst thing you can do for your partner is abandoning them when they probably need you the most.
In your relationship overall, you should want your partner to be viewed in a positive light. So, when the world, your friends, family, or co-workers may be up against them—the best thing you can do for your relationship is to defend their character, their morals, and who they are as a person—even if their actions at that given time are wrong. At the end of the day, it’s just you two against the world; don’t let them fight alone.