Anyone who has ever worked in an office has faced similar (nearly identical!) scenarios, no matter the type of office. We all have hate/love (mostly hate) relationships with our coworkers and bosses. We all are always starving, somehow? (I don’t know what it is about offices, but I’m never not hungry when I’m there.) Also, most of us don’t know wtf we’re doing. We’re just, uh, going with the flow.
1. This donut situation:
office culture is someone bringing in donuts and everyone for some reason refusing to take a whole one and cutting off 3/8 of the donut and then at the end of the day there's like 17/25ths of 9 different donuts left
— rebrand pending (@hellakyra) January 17, 2019
2. Having to replace things you mean with things you don’t:
How to be a grown up at work:
Replace "Fuck you" with "Ok, great"
— Pin Up Teacher (@pinupteacher) April 3, 2015
3. …Constantly:
Every work email I send:
Hey!
Sorry to bug you!
Was just wondering
(If it’s not too much trouble)
Would it be possible to do thing you said you’d do?
Totally fine if not!
Prob my fault anyway I’m an idiot 🙂
Sorry to bother you!
Sorry I exist!
So sorry!
Just let me know!
Emily— Emily Murnane (@emily_murnane) October 19, 2018
4. Also, being hungry at all times:
I'm trying to convince my coworker to go to lunch so I can eat the skittle under his desk pic.twitter.com/z8V3kVzuO2
— Kalvin (@KalvinMacleod) February 3, 2016
5. Having a work spouse:
When you make your girl mad in the morning her work husband be waiting on her like pic.twitter.com/hkkp50WopF
— Average Nobody (@Imn0taaron) August 29, 2015
6. Listening to coworkers talk about their kids like you care:
Co-workers with kids: Omg guess what? My kid did the funniest thing yesterday!
Me: Oh…..really, What did it do? pic.twitter.com/9JJgY4qoX3
— ??????. (@IamKickz) June 28, 2017
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— Ruin My Week (@RuinedWeek) January 17, 2019
7. Signing cards for people you don’t know…or like:
My coworker is pregnant and they passed a card around and I didn't know what to write so I just put HAVE A GOOD BABY TANYA
— captain glasses (@online_shawn) July 27, 2013
8. Harboring an intense and secret hatred towards your boss:
[in the carpark after work]
Supervisor: bye, David. Have a good weekend
Me [giving him the finger]: you're not in charge now— David Hughes (@david8hughes) April 2, 2016
9. But still putting on a great show:
Me: I’m not doing shit my boss can kiss my ass
*boss walks in*
Me: pic.twitter.com/46cMxmLfHY
— TZA (@Twonesterr) November 17, 2017
10. Hating Todd, yet strongly relating:
I wonder how many consecutive Mondays Todd will respond "not long enough" in regards to how his weekend was. We're at 7.
— Mel Owens (@melowens) November 9, 2015
11. Squinting. Lots and lots of squinting:
90% of my job is squinting at my monitor when somebody walks by so it looks like I'm concentrating on some work.
— mark (@TheCatWhisprer) March 28, 2016
12. Being inundated with unnecessary emails:
Is there a way I can filter out all work emails except the ones telling me there are donuts or cake in the office?
— John Lyon (@JohnLyonTweets) February 3, 2016
13. Loads and loads of ’em:
work problems pic.twitter.com/i98CWDV1zw
— Swear Trek (@swear_trek) January 9, 2018
14. Being deeply invested in office drama, but only while at work:
me: i don't have time for workplace drama, i'm here for a paycheck
also me, when my coworker says she's annoyed w someone we work with: pic.twitter.com/ciQ6oikRtJ— hanny devito (@blazedd0nut) May 26, 2017
15. Spending an inordinate amount of time on social media:
lol my boss just called me into his office and told me I've been spending too much time on twitter. Hold on he's saying something else now
— dan mentos (@DanMentos) June 13, 2017
16. Literally not knowing how to do good work constantly or consistently:
Please quit telling me to “keep up the good work” the good work was an accident and impossible to replicate
— Sweatpants Cher ? (@House_Feminist) October 26, 2017
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— Ruin My Week (@RuinedWeek) January 17, 2019
17. And finally, motivational posters:
I hate my job. The work sucks. The people suck. The pay sucks.
*looks up and sees motivational poster on wall*
Well this changes everything— Bucky Isotope (@BuckyIsotope) November 10, 2015