10. Sucks at storytelling:
He can not tell a story. Rambling, unnecessary details, and the listener is three steps ahead the entire time, just waiting for it to slowly unspool.
9. Sucks at eating:
Takes forever to eat a meal. It was very well-suited to long dates, romantic dinners, those intense getting-to-know-you conversations at the beginning. 15 years later and I just want to have a meal where I’m not done before he’s barely taken a bite!
His whole family is like this and I simply don’t understand. It’s food, you put it on a plate and you eat it and go on with life! Not for them, mealtimes often stretch on for hours, occasionally into the next bloody meal if it’s a family event. I just don’t get it.
ETA: He’s not European, just a sloooooow eater!
8. Never being able to choose. Anything.
Her indecisiveness. It was adorable to see her struggle when we were dating but goddammit I’m just trying to figure out what to make for dinner.
7. Using the dreaded baby voice:
Talk in a baby voice, shit was cute at the beginning, but when you’re asking me if you can have my last beer in the fridge in a tiny baby voice, fuck no, now I need it.
EDIT: Just making an edit to say I love her and no, I don’t hate her for this.
6. Refusing to accept help or admit defeat:
First off, still very happily married and in love! However, there is one thing that does cause a ruckus every now and again. When we were dating and living together, we would do diy stuff around the house.
I know a little past the basics because my dad made sure to teach me things and of course there is always youtube, so I’m not helpless by any stretch. In fact I owned several of my own power tools before we got together.
When doing one of these projects, he often wouldn’t let me do much. Back then I thought, “What a gentleman, doesn’t want me to get dirty.” or whatever. Nowadays I’ll be watching him do something and know a better way of doing said task, and it’s like he doesn’t believe me.
So he’ll try 18 other ways before landing on the way I suggested and it working out just dandy. It’s pretty frustrating. I can do more than hold something while you work!
It’s not a deal breaker, but sometimes I let him know just how stupid he was acting, and how much time it wasted by not just trying my way first. Even if my suggestion doesn’t work, what did you lose?
5. Falling asleep way too quickly:
Falls asleep INSTANTLY. He works long hours (Japanese. In Japan) and is always tired, which I get. But he falls asleep literally while eating or in the middle of a sentence.
Was really cute. And I still can’t actually be mad at him because I know it’s because he’s working so hard. But when we only get late evenings to talk over a quick dinner and I’m constantly having to wake him up every 5 minutes… gets less and less cute.
4. Needing to see all things from all points of view at all times:
Plays the devil’s advocate.
When we first started dating it was fun and challenging to debate the points. Now it’s tiring and just “can we agree GENOCIDE IS BAD?! There is no “middle ground” option” ”
Well if I can play devil’s advocate-”
“I will cut a bitch dear. So help me god, I will cut a bitch.”
We still have plenty of intellectual debates, we don’t staunchly agree on everything and we’re able to open each other’s minds. But playing devil’s advocate got old quick lol
ETA: devil’s advocates can definitely help see a different perspective in the world. But I dont need that on EVERY point. Especially if it’s a personal problem and I’m just trying to rant.
3. Spontaneity bordering on insanity:
His spontaneity. It used to be really fun and sexy…but now it’s like living with a real life Homer Simpson/Phil Dunphy hybrid. No joke, I am just waiting for the day he comes home with a bag of ‘magic beans’
Edit: I’ve had a lot people asking for more stories of my husband doing crazy shit. I think my favorite is: on our first date we got caught in a rain storm, I was wet to the bone and wearing a skirt…so he offered me his pants.
2. Being overly jealous and possessive:
His jealousy was a little cute at first because it was very mild and appeared harmless. I figured he would learn over time that he could trust me completely and it would lessen or go away. It took a completely opposite turn and he became violently jealous of every man who so much as looked in my direction. We are now divorced.
1. General scatterbrain-ness:
Disclaimer: not really married but in a long term committed relationship where we live together and have concrete plans for marriage next year.
He’s very scatterbrained… Smart man (imo) but would have went overseas with 10 pairs of jeans, two t-shirts, and no underwear if I didn’t watch him very closely when he was packing and double checking it multiple times before he left.
He is extremely careless and I used to think it was cute and I liked feeling like I was on top of things sometimes. Now it’s frustrating feeling like I’m his mom and I have to walk him through the most basic shit and watch like a hawk to make sure he doesn’t f*ck it up.
I guess it’s practice for when I become a mom as I have to weigh and balance learning opportunities so I am not fucked over myself. I love him dearly and I wouldn’t trade him for the world but I do wish he would maybe use his brain more often.
And he is learning, slowly but progress is being made.