27 Mind-Blowing Things People Learned When They Were ‘Today Years Old’ That’ll Leave You Shook

You ever learn something that totally flabbergasts you, and you’re like, “HOW did I just learn this?” It’s as though the entire world was conspiring to keep this one specific thing a secret from you during your entire existence.

Like, for example, how you can’t hum while holding your nose. Or that the population of Mars is all robots. OR that the name Jessica was created by Shakespeare in the play Merchant of Venice. Here are 27 more:

27. And here I spent my entire life thinking “square” was a truly dope diss.

26. I would love car sex. Or just sex. Or just a car.

25. SPAM really TM’s “MMM.” They really did that.

24. Ok, this one I just refuse to believe (or research, in case it proves to be true).

23. Some of these ~facts~ have clearly been hiding in plain sight all this time.

22. Ryan Seacrest, for instance, just noticed this fun life witticism.

21. How does William Shatner feel about this?

20. This is one truly beautiful fact:

19. Why don’t they put instructions on these darned things?

18. It’s true. It’s on his birth certificate.

17. Whomst knew this?!?

16. This…is true marketing genius:

15. This too:

14. Wow, right?