Ladies, I have hundreds of single friends. In fact, I have more single friends than you’ve had dates. I know guys—good guys and bad boys, Romeos and Lotharios, leeches and preachers, warriors and wimps—and here’s what I’ve learned: if you’re looking for a good guy, you need to look for these 10 things.
- He responds favorably to babies and dogs. Ride an elevator with him. Does he evince any sign of delight when he sees a baby? Is he unable to resist petting a dog? What breed? Any guy will pet a Golden Retriever, but a guy who pets a Yorkie? That’s a goddamn keeper right there.
- He could take it or leave it on the booze. No lie, pay attention to this one. After six or eight dates, does it appear everything you do involves alcohol? Hmm. As though there’s nothing to do that doesn’t involve alcohol. When given the opportunity, does he always order booze? Watch this closely because it could be trouble.
- He’s really into your sexual happiness. Like, genuinely gets off on you getting off. That’s sustainable right there.
- He has power he doesn’t use. Like, he demonstrates restraint. Restraint is a virtue but also reeks of power. Powerless people lash out, overreact, put it all on the line. Powerful guys don’t need to prove themselves every time there’s a dispute with a cab driver over the fare.
- He’s kind to service people. This is a form of power. If you’re dining at a restaurant, YOU have the power. You can probably get a waitress fired if you tried hard enough. Is your guy rude to the waiter? Obnoxious to the doorman in your building? Are you in a relationship with a guy who cusses out the laundry lady when a shirt is stained? If so, GTFO.
- He reads. Like books with complete sentences. He’s curious and thoughtful. A thoughtful person tends to be thoughtful in every dimension of his life, including his relationships. A guy who reads is a keeper. And let’s face it, when you’re in your 50s, is there anything sexier than a guy rocking Foster Grants reading Tennyson? Come on!
- He’s competitive. This is a good thing. You want a guy who’s got some hustle, some backbone. Doesn’t matter what he’s doing—cooking, playing basketball, chess. Dude likes to bring his A game. This is a guy who will provide and get it done.
- He has a ruling passion that isn’t you. Kind of like selfishness. But your ideal guy has a passion in his life, what he feels most himself doing. This isn’t watching porn or napping—I’m talking fly-fishing, playing electric guitar, running. Like, something that when he’s doing it, you see a sense of peace, self-assurance, and confidence on his face. That’s sexy AF, ladies.
- He doesn’t feel like he always needs to be someplace else. A cat who’s perpetually restless and discontent is likely trouble. What are you gonna do when he feels that way about you?
- He’s totally OK crying. Not like performative feminist-ally virtue signaling whiny bitch crying. I mean, he tears up when CNN has a story on a boatload of people drowning in Ohio. That’s a tender heart. A keeper.
Kevan Huston – Kevan is an eater of sushi, a runner of many miles, and a listener of soul. If you want to connect with Kevan, you can find him on Blogspot, and Twitter.