My Boyfriend Needs Training Before He Can Become My Husband

Don’t get me wrong, my boyfriend is a gem and I can totally see him being the guy I marry someday. However, there are a couple of things that he needs training†on before I can even think about him becoming my husband.

  1. He needs to learn more about women.†Sure, he may have had girlfriends in the past, but he didnít seem to know much about the female sex before he met me. For instance, he didnít know how much women like to talk about feelings. He also wasnít aware of how we can be completely irrational around the time of the month because, you know, hormones. Essentially, until heís super understanding regarding the ins and outs of female life, Iím afraid I canít fully accept that heís husband material.
  2. We need to live together.†As well as being a bit clueless about women before he met me, my BF had also never lived with a girl. Luckily, weíre currently in a long-distance situation where we have to live together frequently for short periods of time, like a month or two, so heís learning what itís like to live with a woman†fast. Yes, he must tickle my legs after a hard day at work. No, I donít want healthy snacks while Iím on my periodógive me chocolate. And Iím totally OK with him playing his video games for half an hour if I can watch The Bachelorette afterward. Comprende?
  3. We have to split chores 50/50.†Iím fortunate that Iíve already got a guy whoís not afraid to take charge with domestic activities, but he also needs to learn that we have to split household chores down the middle if our future marriage is going to survive. Iím not one to sit on my butt and not do anything, but I also donít want to be the one who does everything. Slowly but surely, weíre learning how to compromise and find a middle ground, but I need to feel confident that this is a permanent thing before I make our relationship permanent.
  4. He has to learn to be more considerate.†Heís not selfish as a person, but sometimes he can act selfishly. For example, there are times when weíve made plans, Iím ready and heís not, and he keeps making me wait for him even though he knows that it really winds me up. He has to learn that heís not going to always get his own way now that Iím in the picture. He has to make sacrifices for the sake of my happiness as well as his. Relationships are all about give and take, and itís all about getting the right balance right now.
  5. We have to improve our communication skills.†I say ďweĒ because no one is a communication expert. We both struggle to say how we really feel sometimes, which is a big issue that we need to work on before we even think about marriage. He also needs to learn just how important and appreciated a little text message is throughout the day when weíre both apart. #JustSaying
  6. He has to learn to include me in all his decisions.†From arranging dinners with his family to sorting out what weíre having for breakfast on Saturday morning, my BF has to start including me in all his decisions before he becomes my fiance. After all, life wonít be just about him anymore when weíre married.
  7. He has to make me a priority.††Iím not saying that he should make me the center of his universeóthat isnít healthy and I wouldnít ever want that. Rather, he needs to learn how to say no to a night of drinking with his friends so that he can cook me dinner and be there for me if Iíve received bad news or had a really difficult day. If he canít prioritize me before he marries me, then I doubt that the marriage could ever last.
  8. He needs to take care of us both.†Heís already pretty good at taking care of me, which is lovely and much appreciated, but sometimes he can neglect himself in little ways. For example, sometimes heíll binge drink when he suffers from anxiety, which only makes his anxiety worse. Likewise, heíll skip having a shower for a couple of days or forget to exercise and feel sluggish. I understand that weíre all only human, we all make mistakes, and weíre all just doing the best that we can, but he needs to nip these bad habits in the bud now to prevent us from having future arguments as husband and wifey.
  9. We need to learn more about each other.†We already know a heck of a lot about each other and itís only been two years. Can you imagine where weíre going to be in the years to come? Weíre constantly learning more about each other every day and evolving as a couple, so we just need to keep on growing before we reach the engagement level. One thingís for sure, I wouldnít want to embark upon this journey with anyone else. Itís true what they say: when you know, you know, and itís just about going through the motions until you arrive at your happily ever after.

Katie Davies – Katie is a freelance writer and blogger from England. In between cups of coffee, she has written for a number of businesses and publications on her three favorite subjects of fashion, travel and dating. She loves to use her personal knowledge and previous experiences to help others through her writing and blogs weekly at or tweet her @kdavieswrites.