When a man tells you he’s ‘well-endowed,’ what exactly do you picture? Most of us are probably picturing something similar. Similar shape, similar size. At the very least, a similar concept related to human anatomy. However, if there’s anything life has taught me, it’s that people are almost never on the same page about anything.
Author Michelle Markowitz shared a text on Twitter that revealed the huge gap in understanding some of have about euphemisms. According to Markowitz, her friend had this conversation with a fella who was trying to convince her to go out with him. First of all, good on Markowitz’s friend for rejecting this ding-dong who brought his actual ding-dong up to convince this woman to go out with him Rookie move.
My friend sent me this screenshot, and it turns out she thought “well endowed” meant someone saying they have a lot of money, like when colleges have a big endowment and now I’m dead pic.twitter.com/HaXLubldVR
— Michelle Markowitz (@michmarkowitz) August 21, 2018
The guy thanks the unnamed friend for her directness, which presumably refers to her rejection. Then he asks if it would change matters if she knew he were “well-endowed.” I don’t understand this at all, because when someone I’m not attracted to tells me they’re well-endowed, I just think, “Oh, more of a penis I don’t want to touch? No thanks!”
The friend, however, had a basic misunderstanding that kept her from responding appropriately. Markowitz writes, “My friend sent me this screenshot, and it turns out she thought ‘well endowed’ meant someone saying they have a lot of money, like when colleges have a big endowment and now I’m dead.”
What’s amazing is that Markowitz’s friend responded as though this horny suitor was talking about money, but it actually works!
“Hahaha you’re funny,” she texted. “My parents didn’t raise me that way, and I should hope that you don’t try and convince any other person to like you for anything other than who you are, not what you’re work or what you have! Good luck.”
And a smiley face. But if you imagine she’s talking about d*ck it actually kinda works.
This may be the most unintentionally sweet response to a creep talking about his genitals. Sometimes ignorance is innocence.