While many men (specifically, politicians) seem to think that coming out of a vagina somehow qualifies them as female anatomy experts, most of them are sorely mistaken — which results in less-than-satisfactory sexual experiences for women everywhere.
So, in an effort to remedy some of the obliviousness, here are just a few vaginal tidbits that women wish guys knew about:
8. Expecting us to keep them completely hair-free is kind of a d*ck move.
Me: I’m only meeting him to chill
Me to me: shave your pussy just incase pic.twitter.com/yqt1whQ3yb
— 2352 (@adetasie) November 14, 2016
Thanks in part to porn, the expectation for women to be completely (or mostly) bald in their nether-region has become rather pervasive — and it’s a standard which isn’t exactly realistic or beneficial for women or their vaginas. You see, when you shave/wax off pubic hair in an area with sensitive skin, there is a high likelihood of rashes, ingrown hairs, and general discomfort and itchiness (not to mention, in some cases, injury). It’s one thing to keep hair “managed” down there, it’s quite another to demand “linoleum” over “carpet.”
And if you’re still not feeling empathetic, try shaving your own crotch. I guarantee you will have a newfound appreciation for the female experience once that sh*t starts growing out.
7. They’re not like sprinklers, my dude.
Arousal isn’t instantaneous, and it generally doesn’t result in loads of natural lubrication — especially if you’ve been in a relationship for a little while. Sometimes, women need a little store-bought assistance in regards to their own personal, um, wetness, and that isn’t a referendum on your sexual abilities.
And for heaven’s sake, please don’t just jam your fingers up in there if there isn’t sufficient lubrication. (Unless you are specifically asked to do so.) It’s essentially the female equivalent of a dry handjob, which I’m sure you can understand is NOT PLEASANT.
6. A penis alone is rarely enough.
Look, regardless of what movies and porn might tell you to the contrary, P-in-V penetration is rarely enough for a woman to achieve climax. Again, that’s not because you’re doing it wrong — it just is what it is. With that in mind, please understand the importance of FOREPLAY in the sexual routine. It’s not simply a box to check off before “actual sex.” For many women, foreplay IS the sex. (If you equate sex with satisfaction, that is.)
5. Discharge is regular and normal.
My vagina just sneezed, judging from my underwear.
— Amber (@amburgklur) July 22, 2012
A cool thing about vaginas: they clean themselves! Vaginas use white and clear vaginal discharge to clean house and tidy up (so to speak). So, if you happen to see, say, some dried discharge on our underwear, don’t even think about getting all grossed out — because that sh*t actually means that our vaginas are doing their jobs.
4. When you’re talking about a “vagina” you’re probably talking about a “vulva.”
Yeah, this is a super common mistake, but it warrants a correction: the vagina is technically the canal leading to the cervix (i.e., where the penis/fingers go). The outer labia, pubic mound, clitoris, etc. make up what is called the “vulva,” i.e. the external organs of the female genitals.
So, yeah. The vulva is like, your favorite part! Learn its name!
3. The G-spot isn’t a guarantee.
Congrats, you read a few men’s magazines which told you where to find the mythical G-spot! (Which basically just involves sticking your fingers all the way inside the vagina, palm up, and making a “come hither” motion with your fingers.)
However, you should know that this “trick” doesn’t work for all women. In fact, some women may even find it extremely uncomfortable and ask you to stop.
2. Do NOT jab the clitoris unless specifically instructed to do so.
i call my vagina ‘pomegranate’ because dudes don’t know how to eat it
— priya (@priya_ebooks) July 5, 2014
I don’t know why, but many guys have apparently decided that the clitoris is the only thing that requires stimulation during sexual activity — which would be like if their sexual partner decided to give them a blow job, but only sucked on the head of their penis.
There IS such a thing as too much stimulation, and repeatedly jabbing the clitoris is the most common offender. In fact, if you make the clitoris too sensitive, it will actually retract beneath its hood.
So, yeah. Spread the love when you’re exploring down there, and focus on teasing rather than prodding.
Which leads me to this final observation …
1. Honestly, though, there are no specific set rules.
There is a myriad of articles dedicated to “solving” the female orgasm, but here’s the thing: women do not all experience pleasure in the same way, and there’s no single surefire technique for getting them off every time. (Sorry, GQ, but it’s true.) Female sexuality and arousal are complicated, and each vagina is like a snowflake.
The sexiest possible thing you can do? ASK US what we want.