When it comes to dating, there are many times when a guy will approach a woman and she just isn’t interested.
No matter the reason–because, let’s be real, we don’t need a reason to say no–if a woman says “no,” she means “no.” That isn’t an invitation to try harder, and it certainly is not an invitation to react like a jerkoff. Many times, when women reject men’s advances, they turn to anger, rage, and aggression as a way to revolt. And, it makes women uncomfortable, afraid, and feel unsafe. Don’t believe me? Just ask these women.
Leaving my grandmother’s house the boy next door asked me to come hang out I said no (this was a regular occurrence and it bothered me). He began to follow, walking, then running, as I raced to my house down the road. He ran in my house after me and pushed into the room I tried to hide in. He pinned me to the wall with his body and held my arms above my head and staring at me for what felt like forever, before eventually letting go and leaving. He was a friend to my older brother. I was 13. No one believed me.
Once I was walking home and a truck pulled up at a red light. The guy kept trying to cat call me so I ignored him… until he yelled “What are you, stupid or something?” So I told him to piss off amd the truck pulled away at the green. A few blocks later, the same truck reappears and the guy is screaming at me about how he’s going to shoot me in the head before driving away. I had to walk another ten blocks home alone, but I detoured so I could walk by a bar I used to work at just in case. Luckily he didn’t come back.
Told him I just wanted to be friends as I was seeing someone long-distance at the time. Response: “obstacles are meant to be overcome” so he gave me 3/4 of a bottle of wine and sexually assaulted me when I started blacking out.
I was stalked in my early 20s by a guy who would often come into my work and flirt with me. I declined dating him because he was a good 15 years older than me and I wasn’t interested. He proceeded to follow me around to my other jobs (I worked three jobs at the time), make insulting/degrading comments about my body in front of my coworkers under the guise of “joking,” somehow managed to get my number and text me to call me a cunt, a bitch, and tell me he knew where I lived. I have no idea if he was bluffing.
My current girlfriend has a 6” cut on her left thigh after her ex assaulted her with a knife in an attempt to rape her. As they fought she yanked out the knife and held it at his throat to force him off her. The fucker is serving 7 years in prison.
I was friendly with him for 3 days then he told me he was in love with me. I told him to please give me space and leave me alone and that I did not love him. He threatened to kill himself. When I didn’t give him the attention he expected he came up with a murder suicide plan for us. He told a coworker and luckily that man turned him in….we’re both in the Army and live in the same barracks building.
A guy on okcupid had messaged me a few times, and I told him I wasn’t interested. After the third time I asked him not to message me again and he threatened to track me down and anally rape me. He was also old enough to be my father, so there’s that.
There’s a 24-hr. cafe attached to a cheap hotel in my town, and my sister and I used to go get food after getting off of our serving shifts. It was sketchy, but we were hungry and young and naive. One night, as we were leaving, there was a group of guys loitering in the parking lot. They asked us to stop and talk to them, and we just said no thanks and kept walking. They asked us to come party with them in their room and we ignored them. Angry that we weren’t responding, they started following us and cussing us out for being rude. We walked faster. By the time we reached our car, they had surrounded us. They tried to physically stop us from getting in the car, grabbing at us and holding the doors open. We somehow managed to get in and close and lock the doors. I know if we had been parked further away or had not been together, this story would have a much worse ending. Every time I think of it, I immediately think of what I should have done differently; how I could have prevented the situation. That’s bullshit. I was an 18 yr old girl being verbally and physically harassed by six or seven middle aged men, and that’s not my damn fault.
Met up with this guy once and I had no feelings for him that he had for me and I told him I wanted to be only friends. Apparently that wasn’t enough for him. He tried to have me arrested for drug possession (I had none on me) after I had to call the cops on him for threatening me and my friend after we wouldn’t allow him into the apartment because of drugs and the gun he had. He had an illegal gun in his possession and would threaten to use it not only him and I, but anybody else in my life who would get in the way of his love for me. His friends who told me to “give him a chance” wouldn’t leave me alone neither with him. I couldn’t go to certain places without people coming with me because he would show up. After I told him I’d go to the police for a restraining order he stopped, but from time to time he still messages me with threats(from new accounts) and I block every last one.
He told me he had considered trying to get me pregnant so I would have to marry him.
My ex-boyfriend threatened to send dirty pictures of me to my family after I said I didn’t want to have sex with him
Didn’t hear a guy trying to talk to me one night as I was walking into Walmart with my face glued to my phone and he proceeded to call me a bitch and tell me he was gonna wait outside for me and rape me. Like why is that even necessary to say or feel is an appropriate response?
Once, I left a party at 9 PM in (god forbid) a dress and heels. I was walking up NYC’s 5th ave in midtown by all the department stores, so everything around me was closed. This man in a suit came up from behind me and told me I was the most gorgeous girl he’d ever seen. I thanked him and kept walking. He said “I’m serious, I stopped my car for you” and motioned behind him where I noticed a car parked along the avenue. He asked me out and, feeling a little uncomfortable, I told him I had a boyfriend. He instantly became angry and screamed “No you don’t, you’re racist!” He continued yelling in my face for being a “racist” and backed me against the wall of one of the buildings. I was debating trying to run away in my heels before he had enough and went back to his car. For New York women: the Safe Trek app is great for moments like these. I use it when I walk alone at night ever since.
I was at a club on my birthday and had a guy come up and try to dance with me. I danced with him for a minute or so and then when I was done, I stopped and walked away. I was sitting on a stage when he came back over to me, stood in between my legs and forcefully started kissing me. I yelled for him to get off and tried pushing him away. He tried to say stuff like “aww come on baby” “whats wrong” while still trying to touch me. seriously DISTURBING ! At that point I was screaming and cussing and shoving him off. He eventually gave up and walked off. Ive been called terrible names when rejecting a guy even when done nicely. Something also terrifying is when a guy is very very persistent perusing you after you’ve told him you’re not interested several times nicely and even after you’ve been mean about it.
I was 23 years old at my sister’s bachelorette party. A large group of us were dancing in a bar and a man came up and put his arms around me and my sister. He was drunk and slurring his words, grabbing at both of our shoulders trying to pull us in closer. I brushed his arm off my shoulder at which point he backed off and had a surprised look on his face and retreated to the bar. A few minutes later he came back, circling the outside of our group, pointing at my sister and me. He was shouting words that I couldn’t make out because the music was too loud. Again he disappeared, until I felt a hand slide up my back and grab my neck. I spun around and pushed him as hard as I could, telling him not to touch me or my sister. Thankfully his friend saw what happened and pulled him away. The worst part was there was a bouncer standing next to our group, who did absolutely nothing. We left the bar immediately after, I still get sick to my stomach every time I drive past it.
I’m 15. I just finished my first year of high school and I have been harassed like never before. But there’s this guy in particular who’s liked me since I was in 7th grade but I’ve never had the same feeling. I always have felt bad because I know the feeling of liking someone and them not liking you back, but I just don’t have those feelings for him. He’s asked me out almost every day of the school year. He has harassed my friends trying to get my phone number and told me that the amazing guy I’m dating now is shitty and will cheat on me. He invites me to go and get high with him and he gets aggressive when I tell him no. He called me a bitch when I told him that I’m not gonna go and take ecstasy with him and his friends. And he got so pissed off at me when he found out I started dating someone and called me a “lying whore” because when he asked about me and my boyfriend before we were dating I told him we were just friends (because we were just friends but then we both caught feelings) and after that I was scared to walk alone around campus. Like I wouldn’t leave class to go to the bathroom cuz I was scared I’d bump into him, I’d stay really close to my boyfriend at lunch, and I had my boyfriend walk me to my car after school. He made me so scared to be at school and even knowing that I could run into him in public is a little scary because I don’t know if he’s gonna start getting physically aggressive. I’m a strong woman and I can handle being called a bitch or a whore but I don’t know if I’d be able to handle getting hurt by him.
I was studying abroad in a different country, and a fellow student from Australia told me he had a crush on me. I wasn’t there looking to date, and turned him down, and we were friends for the rest of the semester. He left in the winter and I stayed on into the spring. Because I’d started to get uncomfortable feelings around him and the way he talked about me to other people (being in love with me, wanting to go to America for me, etc…) I cut ties once he was gone. However, in March, he came back and spent an entire week waiting in my dorm building, outside of my room, attending the classes I was supposed to be in (I was sick), and constantly harassing me via text. This eventually culminated in him trying to break into my dorm room and threatening me, all because I wasn’t comfortable spending time with someone who’d stalked me back into an entirely different country after I’d decided to stop talking to him. I never felt safe going anywhere alone after that, and even now that I’m home, I can’t help but worry that he’ll try to come here and do the same thing.
He stalked me for a year and a half after I danced with him for one song in a club. Police asked him to stop, but he didn’t stop until I moved to a different country.
An ex used to threaten to harm himself when I would turn down his sexual advances and those threats led me to stay with him much longer than I wanted to. After I finally broke up with him and turned down multiple requests of his to get back together he texted me a picture of him lighting a photo of me on fire and called me a “cold-hearted bitch” for refusing to get back together. Later, when he found out I was dating another guy he texted me that he was going to find the new guy and “put him in the hospital.” All of this happened when I was only 17.
When I was in high school, I turned a guy down and he threatened to strangle my dog with barbed wire and leave her body on my porch.
When I was in 10th grade a guy I knew from my neighborhood, and had hung out with once or twice invited me and my friend to skip a class and hang out in a back area of the school. We had done this before and not got caught so I decided to do it. My friend had a test so she couldn’t miss class. He tried to kiss me I pushed him away and told him I had a bf. He proceeded to grab me , pin me against a brick wall. and stick his hand in my pants . He ripped my underwear, my instincts kicked in and I fought til I could get out of the side door that was at the end of the hall.
My ex boyfriend wanted me back two years after we broke up (he cheated on me for the 3rd time and it disgusted me and I lost all feelings but we were semi friends) and I told him I would never feel that way about him again so he should move on. One day we were watching tv and I fell asleep on his couch and woke up to him raping me. He said he thought I wanted it. Because I was making noises. In my sleep.
When I was 19 I told a guy on tinder that I had only been talking to for a few days (and had never met) that I was getting back together with my boyfriend and that I wasn’t going to be talking to him anymore. Cut to three years later when I’m almost 23 when, at 2 AM, I get a string of texts from an unrecognizable number asking about the status of my relationship along with screenshots of EVERY. SINGLE. TEXT. from that 3-night exchange. I immediately told him to leave me alone and blocked the number. When I told my roommates they all freaked out. Creepy.
I was once visiting with an ex boyfriend and he was trying to get back together or at least hook up. I was seeing someone else and used that as an excuse, he said he didn’t care and continued to pressure me. I told him I had no desire to be with him and he got on top of me, held me down and said, “I can force you. I’ll rape you, then tell him you cheated and you’ll have to be with me.” I lost my absolute mind which scared him enough to get off me.
I was at a concert with a few of my friends when a man came up to me and lifted up the front of my flowy dress and groped my vagina. My instant reaction was to push him away from me. Within seconds he swung with everything he had for my face. His friend intercepted some of his swing and so he only managed to hit part of my mouth. What I found most shocking was that the entire crowd around me stopped dancing, at a lively rap concert, in amazement of what just happened and nobody said a thing.
In high school I was friends with this guy named Danny. We would talk all the time and I guess that was enough for him to think I liked him. I didn’t. After I rejected him he followed me everywhere, it escalated from just walking behind me to brushing against me and then finally screaming in my face. I went to the school counselor and she did nothing to help the situation. Eventually his family moved away.
A couple of years later he wanted to be my friend on Facebook. I still laugh at the thought that he actually thought I would accept him as a friend lol. He’s in the military now and it freaks me out knowing a person like him is around guns.
In college I had another stalker. He wasn’t aggressive luckily but he would wait for me knowing where my classes were and would yell things at me while I walked past. I really got familiar with my college campus trying to find different ways to get classes to avoid this guy.
When I was 13 my friends and I were at an amusement park for the day. We were taking a picture together and this group of guys (about 14-15 years old) saw us and came running over and jumped in the picture. We were annoyed and asked them politely to please get out of our picture. They refused and instead started badgering us about taking a picture with them (like physically grabbing my friends arm and pulling her back to take a photo). We were kinda creeped out and decided to just walk away. At this point they started yelling and cursing at us and followed us. We were scared, and there was no one else around that area of the park, so we just ran. THEY RAN AFTER US. We went into a gift shop and hid, but they followed us into there. So there we were literally were crawling on the floor to get to the back door of the shop
My roommate in college turned down a guy at a party. He showed up to our room and CLIMBED INTO BED WITH HER while she was asleep. We threw him the fuck out but never left the door unlocked again when we were just chilling in our room.
This guy asked me to hookup with him, and I politely turned him down several times. He offered to at least walk be home so I didn’t have to walk home along across campus and I said alright. He asked to use my bathroom before he called his Uber and then next thing I know he’s blocking the doorway of my bedroom and said I wasn’t allowed to go to bed till I have him a blowjob. I ended up calling my best friend which happened to be a cop, and he escorted this jerk out of my place.
I had dated a guy for about 3 months and at first things were great but I slowly started to realize that he wasn’t actually what I was after so after many times telling him this it got to breaking point. He apparently was in love with me and wanted to marry me. He lashed out big time, called me all sorts of horrible things. I told him I didn’t want to see or talk to him anymore. He continues to text and call, finally shows up at my work and corners me into talking. Eventually he left and I yet again told him do not contact me. A week later he continues to lash out, texting, calling. I get home, I had a feeling he may be there and I was so nervous. This sneaky bastard hides around the corner as I am pulling into my garage. I see him at the last moment and I am desperately trying to close my garage door but he keeps putting his foot underneath so I can’t close it. He forced his way into my garage, opened my car door and had me cornered there. He grabbed for me but I immediately told him not to touch me. He decided to say some choice words and he eventually left. Couple of days passed and I was so scared. He has since threatened his own life and has said some very scary things. I might need a restraining order.