I looked at her and said “do you have a phone book” and she said “a what” and I just started laughing hysterically because there’s nothing like being reminded you’re getting old in the middle of a crisis at the Baskin Robbins.
— Erin Burr, sir (@erinscafe) April 18, 2018
I finally calm down. She looks up the school’s number for me. I call to let them know I’ll be there as soon as I can. I call AAA. They tell me the locksmith will call when he arrives. I tell them okay, but this is Baskin Robbins so they won’t care.
— Erin Burr, sir (@erinscafe) April 18, 2018
I go back to my house. My creepy neighbors are still being arrested. Animal Control has arrived for that sweet puppy. I go sit on my porch and finish my Diet Coke.
— Erin Burr, sir (@erinscafe) April 18, 2018
The AAA guy shows up. I tell him to park in my driveway, the car’s out back. And he says “well how can I tow it if it’s in the back.” And I’m like “uh, you don’t, I just need you to unlock it.” And he’s like “I’m here to tow.” And I’m like “no you aren’t goddammit”
— Erin Burr, sir (@erinscafe) April 18, 2018
And then I realize. “Wait did the police call you?” And he said yeah, Glendale PD. And I was like omfg you’re here to impound my neighbor’s car, ugh, go to the alley and look for all the cops.
— Erin Burr, sir (@erinscafe) April 18, 2018
I go back to the porch.
I wish I had another Diet Coke.
— Erin Burr, sir (@erinscafe) April 18, 2018
My AAA guy finally shows up. He says “what’s with all the cops” and I’m like “yeah, weird day” and he’s like “no kidding, I got called to tow a car earlier and there were three bodies in it” and I was like “OKAY FINE YOU WIN.”
— Erin Burr, sir (@erinscafe) April 18, 2018
He opens my car. I grab my phone and call the school to make sure everything’s good. AAA guy leaves out the front. I’m finishing up on the phone and he comes running back because he left a tool in my car. We walk back to the alley, just as a dozen police officers come walking in.
— Erin Burr, sir (@erinscafe) April 18, 2018
AAA guy looks at me and says, “actually, I think you win this one.”
— Erin Burr, sir (@erinscafe) April 18, 2018
One of the detectives says, “sorry, we’ll be out of your hair in a minute. Did you get your car unlocked?”
I’m like “…
….
…
yes”
— Erin Burr, sir (@erinscafe) April 18, 2018
Another one of the detectives waves and I do a double-take because I have definitely seen this man several times over the past two weeks while walking the dogs and both of us have done the polite nod and smile.
— Erin Burr, sir (@erinscafe) April 18, 2018
And then it hits me. Two of the unmarked cars were parked in front of the house off and on for the past two weeks and I was so angry because that’s my spot and I couldn’t figure out who was taking it and it turns out WE’VE ALL BEEN UNDER POLICE SURVEILLANCE FOR TWO WEEKS.
— Erin Burr, sir (@erinscafe) April 18, 2018
Like, these detectives were probably watching me lock my keys in the car and lose my shit and thinking “lol, classic Scafe” because they have been watching me for weeks.
— Erin Burr, sir (@erinscafe) April 18, 2018
The first detective asks me a few questions, asks what names the creepy neighbors gave me. I tell him and he laughs. I’m like, uh, okay.
I’m still not sure if that means the names were real or fake.
— Erin Burr, sir (@erinscafe) April 18, 2018