Let me tell you what happens. I immediately start trying to break into my car through the window that’s cracked open.
And then I realize there are like A DOZEN COPS AT THE END OF THE ALLEY.
— Erin Burr, sir (@erinscafe) April 18, 2018
And I do not have time to be arrested for breaking into my own car.
So I think, okay, I’ll just go use the computer to…email someone. For help.
But I locked my doors because of the creepy neighbors.
— Erin Burr, sir (@erinscafe) April 18, 2018
I swear to god, I start walking around the compound kind of flapping my arms going “think, think, think.”
I try the neighbors. Even the creepy neighbors. Not home.
But one of my friends left a door unlocked. I go in, because it’s not breaking and entering if it’s an emergency.
— Erin Burr, sir (@erinscafe) April 18, 2018
I immediately realize this is 2018 and they don’t have a landline or a desktop computer.
I steal a Diet Coke from their fridge because now’s as good a time as any to fall off the wagon.
— Erin Burr, sir (@erinscafe) April 18, 2018
I run back to the alley, drinking the Diet Coke and chanting think think think and I see there are even more cops.
I run back through the compound out the front.
And then I realize my only option is to go to the closet business and use their phone.
I run to mf Baskin Robbins.
— Erin Burr, sir (@erinscafe) April 18, 2018
As I run, I pass the end of the alley from the other side. And I realize the cop cars are all centered around an SUV with a husky puppy in the back. And I think, hey that dog looks fam- OH MY FUCKING GOD.
— Erin Burr, sir (@erinscafe) April 18, 2018
As I run, I pass the end of the alley from the other side. And I realize the cop cars are all centered around an SUV with a husky puppy in the back. And I think, hey that dog looks fam- OH MY FUCKING GOD.
— Erin Burr, sir (@erinscafe) April 18, 2018
I see them, my creepy neighbors, cuffed on the sidewalk. And I think, omg I should call my friends and tell th- NO ERIN, THINK, YOU HAVE NO PHONE, GO TO BASKIN-ROBBINS.
— Erin Burr, sir (@erinscafe) April 18, 2018
So I run into Baskin-Robbins, and I was maybe a bit hysterical at this point because I kind of yelled HELLO YES CAN I USE YOUR PHONE TO CALL THE SCHOOL MY NEIGHBORS ARE BEING ARRESTED.
— Erin Burr, sir (@erinscafe) April 18, 2018
The very nice employee asked me if I wanted to maybe sit down. And she handed me a phone. Like, a cordless phone. And I swear to god, I looked at it and thought BUT HOW DO I FIND THE PHONE NUMBERS.
— Erin Burr, sir (@erinscafe) April 18, 2018