Stealing from the office fridge is a huge faux pas that still manages to rear its ugly head on a regular basis — which is why one dude’s recent thread about his coworker pursuing justice for a stolen breakroom lunch is stirring up so much excitement on Twitter.
It all began when comedian and writer Zak Toscani’s coworker discovered that his lunch had been pilfered from the breakroom fridge. In an effort to catch the culprit, the coworker obtained permission to watch the security tape.
Co-worker got his lunch stolen and they’ve agreed to let him watch the security camera tape. This is the most excited I’ve ever been at any job ever. Ever.
— Zak Toscani (@zaktoscani) March 29, 2018
Zak decided to keep the Twittersphere updated on the Lunch Theif Saga. The basics: shrimp-fried rice, left in the fridge for thirty minutes, gone without a trace.
Case facts:
Lunch was in fridge for less than an hour before it vanished. No shrimp smell remnants in the microwave or kitchen area. This was a professional hit no doubt— Zak Toscani (@zaktoscani) March 29, 2018
Zak’s coworker discovered that the culprit sat right next to them — and had conveniently left for the day.
So the man who’s lunch was stolen sits across from me. The person who stole his lunch sits RIGHT NEXT TO ME! She left for the day before the investigation started
— Zak Toscani (@zaktoscani) March 29, 2018
Apparently, the food wasn’t even consumed — it was just THROWN. IN. THE. TRASH.
Her motives remain completely unknown. In lieu of what he saw on the tape he has decided to not to press the matter anymore. I can’t say I blame him. We don’t know what this women’s fully capable of
— Zak Toscani (@zaktoscani) March 29, 2018
Update: Ok so when dude watched the video with HR they asked “what do you want to do about it?” he told them he was solely interested in who did it and that he didn’t want to be responsible for someone getting fired
— Zak Toscani (@zaktoscani) March 30, 2018
The coworker didn’t want HR to get involved, but an email warning was sent out about stealing other people’s food — and the coworker acted totally oblivious to her dastardly crime.
She has walked into the room. And the room is dead silent. Dead fucking silent yet there is a palpable explosive energy pulsing through everyone but her
— Zak Toscani (@zaktoscani) March 30, 2018
I can’t move. I simply cannot move, anything could happen right now
— Zak Toscani (@zaktoscani) March 30, 2018
After she said that, shrimp guy responds “well yea it’s not ok to throw someone’s food away” we’re all about to start screaming
— Zak Toscani (@zaktoscani) March 30, 2018
She has simultaneously denied her involvement AND called the guy who saved her job a snitch!!!!!!!!!
— Zak Toscani (@zaktoscani) March 30, 2018
I’ll keep updating if anything else occurs but all I can say is that EVERYONE in the office from the janitor to the founder knows what she did. She now carries an invisible scarlet letter
— Zak Toscani (@zaktoscani) March 30, 2018
Zak decided to stir up the drama by ordering shrimp-fried rice for all his deskmates, including the culprit.
Unbeknownst to the guy and the woman, I just ordered 3 shrimp fried rice plates for lunch and will be hand delivering them
— Zak Toscani (@zaktoscani) March 30, 2018
The thief had an excellent poker face, though.
“I LOVE shrimp fried rice” – the thief
— Zak Toscani (@zaktoscani) March 30, 2018
It’s unclear how the rest of the story will pan out — but it’s clear that the entirety of Zak’s office will forever be changed by this debacle.
I wish I could close this up with a neat little bow, but, it appears that we may never know why she did it. Maybe she doesn’t know she did it. Either way I’m now forced to work 40hrs a week next to a cold blooded individual
— Zak Toscani (@zaktoscani) March 30, 2018
Twitter breathlessly followed the saga and couldn’t believe that the culprit wasn’t confronted about her horrible deeds.
did nobody just ASK her
— Casey Decker (@caseycdecker) March 30, 2018
I would have changed my mind about getting her fired after that "I love shrimp fried rice" comment. ?
— Colleen (@ColleenHolt20) March 30, 2018
GET HER TO REALIZE THERE'S A SECURITY CAMERA IN THE LUNCH ROOM. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, WE NEED TO SEE THIS THROUGH TO THE END. I WANT HER TO FIGURE OUT THAT YOU GUYS KNOW.
— Ben Should be Writing right now. (@JeiceOfSpades) March 30, 2018
I would give anything to be in the room when she discovers this Twitter thread.
— LifeisaBanquet (@AuntieDagmar) March 30, 2018
For the love of all things holy, ASK HER! I need closure. pic.twitter.com/x1GNNiYXZj
— Zarmena (@Zarmena) March 30, 2018
However, Lin Manuel Miranda gave the story his seal of approval, cliff-hanger ending and all.
I love this ending. I don't need to know why she did it, I enjoyed the ride.
Thanks for today.— Lin-Manuel Miranda (@Lin_Manuel) March 30, 2018
Let this be a cautionary tale to all: if you’re gonna put your food in a community fridge, you should be aware of the possibility that one of your coworkers/roommates might be a sociopath. So … eat responsibly.