Mercury is in retrograde, and we all know what that means, right?
Anyone? I don’t. I suppose I could’ve done a little research for this article, but let’s be honest. It doesn’t mean a damn thing. Mercury being in retrograde means you have an excuse for all of the poor decisions that led to you being in a bad situation. Not that I’m judging you. I love anything that allows me to act without taking responsibility for my actions. “Sorry, mercury is in retrograde.” “Sorry, I was really drunk.” “Sorry, but God has a plan for everything.” They all work, so get out there and do some damage while you can still blame it on Mercury.
22. There’s plenty of dick in the sea, and it’s never a wrong time to go fishing.
Mercury is in retrograde this is not the time to go on a search for some new dick bitch stay the fuck home
— virgo (@allmenaintshit) December 3, 2017
21. Enjoy it while it lasts, because when it’s over you’re just an asshole.
I will fucking blame all my melt downs and dramatic tendencies on mercury retrograde and no one can stop me!!!!!! Bye
— C (@Cindy_killa) December 6, 2017
20. Sounds like everyone else’s problem to me.
mercury is in retrograde u know what that means ladies pic.twitter.com/kVlpEak7Id
— ???? ♥ (@kobychill) December 5, 2017
19. *opens laptop and ruins everything with that*
*shuts my phone off until mercury retrograde is over*
— virgo (@allmenaintshit) December 3, 2017
18. Burn your house down before the wildfire gets to you.
show mercury retrograde who’s boss by sabotaging yourself. you don’t even need it. *it* should be afraid of *you!*
— JuanPa (@jpbrammer) December 5, 2017