1. Thinking You Should Have It All Figured Out By Now:
There’s a quote that’s gone around social media for years that reads, “Nothing will ruin your 20’s more than thinking you should have your life together by now.” And, nothing can be more true. While entering “adulthood” can be filled with pressure and fears, there’s no exact timeline that says you need to find the perfect job, the perfect person and have it all set in stone in your 20’s. Now is the time to “trial and error.” Explore new places, meet new people, live and learn. The more pressure you put on yourself, the more stress you’ll accumulate – eventually, you’ll break. Take it easy, enjoy the exhilaration of being young and inexperienced. Gain memories, gain moments, embrace this time.
2. Staying In a Relationship That You’re Not Happy In:
Just because you’re with someone now, doesn’t mean you’ll be with them forever. Truth be told, not every relationship is the “end all, be all” of your life. Most of them aren’t, especially when you’re young. You may love the person you’re with, and that’s completely okay. But, if you’re unhappy and unsatisfied, don’t sell yourself short and settle because you think it’s the “right thing to do.” The worst thing you can do for yourself is be confined in a box, unable to grow. Like your grandparents say: “there are plenty of fish in the sea,” and guess what? They’re right. There are so many people out there that by your 20’s you have yet to meet. You may not want to leave because you’re scared to be alone, or you’re terrified you won’t find someone else, but if you let fear dictate your love life, you’ll always be unfulfilled.
3. Blowing Money Fast:
I’m a firm believer that while you’re young, you should save. There are tons of people who will tell you that if you’re not paying rent or paying a shit ton of bills, you should go wild and “live fast.” But, from experience, I’ve learned that saving will help you out in the long run. You don’t need to put your entire paycheck away, but every week you should put a little bit away for your future. You never know where life is going to take you and when you’ll need that savings – but, your future self will thank you.
4. Basing Your Self Worth on Social Media:
One of the biggest problems with today’s generation is that they allow social media to dictate their existence. They think that if they’re not racking up hundreds of likes on photos and posts, that they don’t have much to offer. I’ll let you in on a little secret – no one gives a flying fuck about how many likes you have on your Instagram photos, how many friends you have on Facebook, or how many followers you have on Twitter. In fact, it’s obsolete – it does not matter. Sure, posting a selfie and getting 200 likes may make you feel good, but realize: no number of likes on a selfie will prove who you are as a person or define your character.
5. Thinking That Everything Is The End of the World:
When you’re young, everything seems like it matters. Little things become big things and big things become hurricanes. You tend to think that when someone lets you down, when someone fucks you over or when something doesn’t turn out right that it’s the end of the world. Well, it’s not. In fact, sometimes things don’t work on on purpose because there are better things that lie ahead. Sure, you may not see it now, but eventually, you will.
6. Judging People Before You Get to Know Them:
Social media has a funny way of introducing prejudice into people’s lives in a way that becomes toxic. Truth be told, you don’t know someone based off their social media profile. In fact, most people create their “ideal self” on social media that may not even add up to who they are in real life. It leads us to believe we know everything about everyone, creating our own judgements of people before we even have a conversation with them or get to know them. No one is perfect. Get to know someone before you come to conclusions.
7. Letting Toxic People Remain in Your Life:
Toxic people will only create a toxic environment around you. If someone is treating you poorly or disrupting the peace of your space, don’t feel guilty about letting that person go. Often times, we let people overstay their welcome in our lives in fear that it’s selfish to cut ties. Don’t feel selfish, don’t feel guilty – feel strong. It takes a lot for someone to realize that a person is disturbing their environment. Walk away from anyone who does.
8. Comparing Your Timeline to Everyone Else’s:
For some reason, in our 20’s, we think that life is a race. We’re always constantly comparing where we are at in our lives to everyone around us – of course, social media doesn’t help. When things take longer for us than other people, we beat ourselves up. Maybe a career path didn’t work out and you go back to school, maybe you haven’t found someone to fall in love with just yet, maybe you haven’t gotten your own place yet. No matter what it is that you feel insecure about, don’t. It’s okay to not be on the same path as someone else because everyone has their own, individual journey. No matter how long it takes you to get to where you want to be, you’ll get there. Be patient with yourself.
9. Never Leaving Your Comfort Zone:
The only way you will ever grow as a person is if you put yourself out there. You may confine yourself to your comforts because you fear the unknown and are worried things may not work out. Here’s the truth: they might not. But, if you never try, you’ll never know. And, what is worse than living life with a bunch of “what ifs?”
10. Doing Something Just Because Everyone Else Is Too:
Remember when your parents asked you “If so and so jumped off a bridge, would you?” Of course, you wouldn’t. So, why do we always feel the need to follow the crowd in order to be accepted? Just because someone wants to party, doesn’t mean you have to, too. Just because someone wants to go somewhere, doesn’t mean you have to go. Be your own person. Make your own choices. Embrace being an individual. Stand out from the crowd – never force yourself to blend in.
11. Expecting Life To Always Be Fair:
Life isn’t fair. Life will never be fair. You’ll have tragedy and loss. You’ll have heartbreak and pain. You’ll fall on your face – more than once. But, never let the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game. Never think that because you have a few failures that you’re never going to succeed. Life is not going to be easy and in fact, it’s going to be a bitch. There are going to be times when you feel like absolute shit and want to quit and give up, but you won’t. Things will get better, life will go on. You’ll pick yourself back up and come back stronger than ever.
12. Blaming Other People For Your Own Faults:
Everyone has baggage. Everyone has circumstances dealt to them that they wish had been different. But, you cannot blame anyone else for where you end up or how you live your own life. You are the captain of your own ship – you dictate where you sail. Stop blaming everyone else for the way things didn’t work out for yourself and go make them workout for you. You can sit and wallow in your sorrows or you can go out there and make shit happen.
13. Not Caring About Your Reputation:
In life, reputation happens to be really important. When you go through life not caring what people say about you, it can seem like a great coping mechanism, but it can bite you in the ass down the road. Truth be told, people talk – a lot – and, if you keep spiraling out into a sea of negative characteristics, regardless if they’re true or false, you’ll end up alone. Don’t be that person.
14. Letting People Walk All Over You:
No matter how much you care about a friend or a significant other, you need to be your own backbone. Don’t depend on everyone else to save you, save yourself. If a friend treats you like garbage, realize that this person is not a friend. If a significant other takes advantage of you, realize that they don’t deserve someone with a love like yours. Stop apologizing for having a heart that feels everything so deeply. It’s a gift, learn to embrace it.
15. Talking About Making Changes Rather Than Actually Making Changes:
If you’re unhappy with where you are, how you look, how you feel – you can make changes to better yourself. Talking about doing it is one thing, but actually getting out there to make the changes you need to feel good about yourself takes effort. Quit being lazy and expecting things to just get easier, they won’t unless you try. Hold yourself accountable for your own life. Set goals for yourself and crush them. Join the gym if you’re unhappy with your weight. Eat better if you feel like absolute garbage. Get a better nights sleep if you’re constantly exhausted. Take a break if you feel yourself crashing. Don’t just talk about being better – make yourself better.
16. Allowing Everyone Else to Dictate Your Life:
People will give you advice about everything in your life, even when you don’t ask for it. Adults will tell you what you should do for a career, your parents will tell you who you should be, friends will tell you who’s right/wrong for you, significant others will preach about what you should improve – it’s only natural, it happens. It’s fine to get advice from others when you’re in the need, but remember that the only person who lives through the consequences and outcomes of your choices and actions is you. No one else. So, you can listen to others from today until tomorrow, don’t do anything unless your heart is in it.
17. Depending On Others Too Much:
Learn to love yourself. Learn to be comfortable being alone. This is something I personally struggled with for years – not wanting to be my own best friend. The more you depend on others, the more you leave yourself open to disappointment and letdowns. If you don’t depend on others, the only person who can disappoint you is you – and that can be fixed and changed. You can’t change other people or make their choices for them. Don’t depend on people or things you have no control over. The only person you have control over is you.
18. Allowing Pain To Ruin Good Things:
If you’ve made it to your 20’s, it’s safe to say you’ve had your heart broken. Rather it be from a love or a friendship, everyone has been fucked over at one point or another. Just because you’ve been hurt doesn’t mean that everyone is out to hurt you. You can look back on your past to grow, but you should never allow it to dictate your future relationships with anyone. Mistakes are lessons, but they are not guidelines. Just because you’ve been burned by a lover, doesn’t mean your future relationships deserve to be mistrusted. Just because a friend has done you wrong, doesn’t mean everyone you get close to will do the same.
19. Being Afraid to Get or Ask for Help:
Your 20’s can be a trying time of your life. You’ll be stressed, you’ll have anxiety, you’ll often times feel blue and depressed. There’s no shame in getting yourself help when you feel you need it. In fact, I’m a firm believer in therapy. If you feel down and need to talk to someone, get yourself help. If you feel off or sick, go see a doctor. If you develop a bad habit you can’t break, find the right form of help for you. Stop thinking that everything will get better overnight – no one will help you unless you help yourself.
20. Rushing Through It All:
Take time to live. Take time to enjoy every moment you get. Live in the small moments and drink them in – the big ones, too. All the times that you have are moments that you’ll never get back again. Stop worrying about tomorrow and focus on right now. You are the youngest you will ever be again. Don’t waste it thinking that you need to be the most successful, the most loved, the most wonderful human being by the time you hit 30. Time flies – actually flies – and if you don’t stop to breathe it all in, you could miss some of the best times of your life.