The 1% sure have some audacity. First they hoarded control of 40% of The Common Man’s resources (the highest in history!), then they slashed corporate taxes for themselves, and now they’re stealing homes from birds. Ok, that last one is taking place in the U.K. and not the U.S., but it’s only a matter of time until Trump catches on and decides birds are NO GOOD and not nearly as important as keeping cars germ-free.
“Some rich folks residing in an elite part of Bristol, England installed super ugly anti-bird spikes on neighborhood trees because birds were pooping on their expensive vehicles. “The spikes are solely to protect the cars, there is no other reason,” an anonymous source told the Bristol Post. “There is a big problem with bird droppings around here. They can really make a mess of cars, and for some reason they [the birds] do seem to congregate around this area.”
The neighborhood had purportedly attempted other means of repelling the birds — “a wooden bird of prey in the branches”— to no avail. Defenders of this move say that there are other trees in the area the birds can go perch on.
Critics say that anti-bird spikes already exist to deter birds from landing on building ledges, windowsills and gutters— we’re really going to hijack their domain and install them on trees as well? Needless to say, people were not happy.
Our war on wildlife: now birds are not allowed in trees…?! Pigeon spikes spotted in Clifton, Bristol above a car park. Has anyone seen this before? How is it allowed?!
?: thanks to Anna Francis pic.twitter.com/NuG9WvYBMj— Jennifer Garrett (@JMAGarrett) December 18, 2017
This is quite possibly the most idiotic thing I’ve ever seen this year! Bird spikes on a tree, truly bonkers ?. https://t.co/oWGrftABpv
— James Common (@CommonByNature) December 18, 2017
Really this is so crazy, you couldn't make it up could you. I mean stopping birds from perching in trees, whats next – maybe ban them from flying. We need to round up all these human goofballs and force them to live below ground in the dark until they learn to appreciate nature.
— Barrhead Birder (@BarrheadBirder) December 18, 2017
So…defacing and likely damaging a tree, affecting all manner of wildlife, and therefore quite likely negatively impacting part of the local ecology…all to stop pigeons pooping on posh cars. How entitled are we, now?
— David Ellery (@SkycladFox) December 18, 2017
This is absurd. I hate seeing defensive architecture designed to make spaces uncomfortable for homeless ppl but now not even birds in trees?! This is new for me and very sad.
— miss somethingorother (@anotherhuman86) December 18, 2017
If birds aren’t allowed to roost in trees then where can they? It is a worrying sign that I hope is just an anomaly in the greater scheme of things.
— Steven Allain (@stevoallain) December 19, 2017
I might pop round with a bucket full of birdshit and just throw it on their cars. https://t.co/LDM8PRDDLV
— Wings Over Scotland (@WingsScotland) December 19, 2017
??? I don't know what to say! That's… Awful!
— BristolNatureChannel (@bristolnatchan) December 18, 2017
IF these spike strips have been nailed on, then it will probably slowly damage the branches, leading to possible fall in future!
— Rob Swift (@RobSwift5) December 18, 2017
I can't think of a more striking metaphor for our relationship with the natural environment. A combination of cold, hard logic and utter indifference, resulting in an almost diabolical solution that wouldn't be out of character for a cartoon villain. https://t.co/hFuOPUB0g8
— Alan (@AlanLewis05) December 19, 2017
“I’m aware that the landowner might be legally within their rights to do this to the trees as they seem to be on private land,” said Green Party politician Paula O’Rourke to the Bristol Post. “Whether allowed or not though, it looks awful and it’s a shame to see trees being literally made uninhabitable to birds ― presumably for the sake of car parking.”