Losing a parent can be hard. Many who have experienced this loss cling to the physical remains of their loved one, whether that be an old sweater, a photo album, or a wedding ring. But 41-year-old Debra Parsons from the English port town of Folkestone gave the term “clinging to physical remains” an entirely new meaning when she announced her plans for eating her dead mother’s ashes.
No, you did not read that wrong. The mother of two has felt the urge to consume her mother Doreen’s ashes ever since she passed away last spring, eating small spoonfuls of ashes daily in order to “help her cope.”
Apparently, this urge intensifies over the holidays. Parsons told the Mirror:
“It is the only thing that will get me through my first Christmas without mum. People might think I’m mad or that it’s not a very respectful thing to do but I just can’t stop myself.”
Her plan is to mix her mother’s ashes in with the turkey stuffing as well as the dessert.
“I see it as a positive thing – allowing her to be close to me and also involving her in the family day. I feel like she can live on by being inside of me because if she is part of me. she can breathe through my body. My breath is her breath. It will be my first Christmas without her and I want her to be involved and this is the only way that feels right to me.”
The holidays bring back another painful memory for Parsons: It marks the anniversary of the death of her son who was born prematurely in 1996. The unexpected death of her mother from an airway obstruction resulting from a chest infection was the nail in the proverbial coffin, causing Parsons to spiral into depression.
“My mum and I had a really strong bond and one which could never be broken, even by death.She has been the one who has helped me through all the other ups and downs of my life and then suddenly she just wasn’t there any more. I was distraught.”
Debra balked at the thought of scattering her mother’s ashes, as is tradition.
“I decided I wanted to do something with her ashes that would make a difference to how we remembered her. I didn’t want to just scatter them because that would feel like throwing her away.”