11.
person: what doesn't kill you makes you–
me: –wind up in years of out-of-network therapy that is inconvenient to get to from work
— Taylor Trudon (@taylortrudon) November 3, 2017
12.
My poor date, a civilian, has no idea that in 2.5 drinks I'm going to start weeping about how much I love the news
— Jazmine Hughes (@jazzedloon) November 2, 2017
13.
I️ can go to bed now and call it edging towards daylight savings?
— Jenni Konner (@JenniKonner) November 2, 2017
14.
I wonder what it's like to have self control when it comes to food
— Ashley Fern (@disco_infern0) October 31, 2017
15.
as long as I live I’ll never forget the day LeBron James called the President of the United States a bum
— Elizabeth Baugh (@elizabeth_baugh) October 31, 2017