There’s No Way This 1992 Letter About Donald Trump Wasn’t Written By Donald Trump

Last Thursday British blog Letters of Note shared one very, very special letter of note. Believe me, it’s the most special letter, the most beautiful, special letter the world has ever seen. Written back in 1992 to the blog’s editor, it was to be featured in their fiftieth anniversary issue. The reason it is so special is not because it’s about Donald Trump, it’s because it is almost unequivocally written by Donald Trump…about Donald Trump. For Donald Trump.

Here’s what I mean:

The note reads:

Based on the fact that I work for Donald Trump as his secretary—and therefore know him well—I think he treats women with great respect, contrary to what Julie Baumgold implied in her article… I do not believe any man in America gets more calls from women wanting to see him, meet him, or go out with him. The most beautiful women, the most successful women—all love Donald Trump.

Does the syntax remind you of anyone? How about the overwhelming use of superlatives? How about the last gd sentence?

The note led many to ponder…who is Carolin Gallego? Where is she? Who is she? Does she exist? (No). As Twitter user @jd_davies points out, “To think that it was Carolin Gallego who gave him that odd way of speaking all those years ago.” Anyway, as you may probably imagine, all of Twitter (including Rosie) wasted no time in roasting hell out of The President Of The United States, Donald Trump Carolin Gallego.

Oh Carolin Carolin, wherefore art thou Carolin? If you truly do exist, please come forward, I’m certain the New York Times will pay you handsomely for your time.