There should be a “lactose intolerants anonymous” where people go and discuss how f*cking horrible it is to be lactose intolerant. To this day, at 24-years-old, I refuse to admit that I am, indeed, lactose intolerant. I just tell people “dairy isn’t my best friend,” or, “milk and I don’t get along,” when in reality, I will die a painful, painful death if you put whole milk into anything I eat. My relationship with cheese is simple: a never-ending love fest. But, that doesn’t mean I don’t suffer the consequences when the time comes. Just ask my boyfriend who has to share an apartment and bathroom with me, I’m a delight.
1.
"You want the potato without sour cream?" "Fuck it, give me the cheese. I'll just fart a lot." #lactoseintolerant
— Deborah Lipp (@DebLippAuthor) October 6, 2017
2.
"death by dairy" will be on my tombstone. just know i died doing what i loved.
— madel ❁ (@hellomadel) September 12, 2017
3.
Bitch I said no cheese, I'm not trying to shit on everyone today #LactoseProblems
— Fae (@BlissMamaFae) September 19, 2017
4.
"Aren't you lactose intolerant?"
First of all, shut up this ice cream is good.
— ? (@arsilva1999) October 18, 2017
5.
Me: is lactose intolerant
Also me: eats cheese at any opportunity
My stomach: pic.twitter.com/9UCZvhOn4W— Chloe (@ChloeMorello) October 23, 2017