7. You may have to come to a very hard decision earlier than expected.
When you spend time apart from your partner, you are getting a glimpse of the “single life,” or – what your life would be like without them. Chances are, you’ll go out with your friends more frequently and try to regain independence in your life. It is inevitable then that you may meet someone who you click and connect with. When you’re in a relationship, this, of course, may happen – but you are always brought to the fact that you are with someone and in love, ending your new-found friendship or potential suitor right then and there.
Most people don’t wish to divulge into the complicated truths of “I’m seeing someone, but we’re on a break,” because A) it looks a bit dysfunctional to the outside eye and B) it opens the door for people to continue to pursue you. In this case, you may actually find that you enjoy a new person’s company and conversation more than your partner – and, you are faced with the very real reality of: do I continue to get to know this person and leave my partner high and dry or do I end this now and cheat myself out of potential happiness? It can be a very, very difficult decision.
8. It gives you a false sense of hope.
People usually go on breaks hoping that the time apart will change themselves and their partners to come into the relationship with fresh eyes and more patience, understanding, and commitment. While all of those things seem spectacular and more than enough to fix a problem – it’s not always the case. In fact, you regain all of this false sense of hope when you do decide to take a break from your partner that when you do return to work things out – you become even more disappointed when you see that things have not truly changed entirely.
Fran Walfish, a psychotherapist based in Beverly Hills, California, explains:
People often return from the break with renewed hope, and yet once again face the disappointment that the same issues remain glaring in their faces, unchanged. Taking a break is really a form of avoidance.
While taking a break may seem like the only option you have for keeping the love between you and your partner alive while going through tough times – step back and realize that the better solution may be to completely break things off entirely. Although it is not ideal, or entirely what you want, it may be the best solution to keep you and your heart protected and not further extend the inevitable.