You know the old saying; “If there isn’t somebody naked, crying, and trying to get a frog out of the dishwasher at the end of the night, it’s not really a party.” Okay that’s not really a saying, but that doesn’t make it any less true.
Good parties tend to be defined by the stories left in their wake. Sometimes they’re boring, like “one time we saw Jimmy drink so much he got drunk!” Then sometimes there are the crazy, NSFW stories that are hard to believe. The stories that sound like they belong in an issue of Penthouse, not in the lexicon of people you actually know.
This Reddit thread is chock full of the latter kind. (Needless to say, these are very NSFW)
1. From user singularpotato:
A stripper whipping my boss with his own belt.
I was 15, and this was a McDonald’s staff party.
2. From user laufsteakmodel:
When I was still in college, I was at a sorority party with my then-girlfriend. A woman (probably a freshman) was on the floor. Ass up, pants and panties to her ankles, funnel in her ass and people were pouring shots in her asshole.
I was too high, drunk and stupid back then to realize that this could easily have killed her and I just left the room with my gf. Had this happened today, I definitely wouldve intervened, but back then I was just like “woah dude..”
She lived, so its all good.
3. From user TheSump:
My girlfriend and I watched two guys fuck her best friend in a shower. It was just that kind of party.
4. From user DaveDavidsen:
Watched a guy lose at beer pong and get mad enough that he turned around and punched the first thing he could land his hand on…which turned out to be a window. In the movies, if you break a window, you don’t get hurt. In real life, if you slam your fist through a window, the falling glass cuts you so deep you practically amputate your own hand. There was so much blood that we thought that was what happened. We thought he sliced his hand off. One of the sober partiers rushed him to the hospital while the rest of us just left because the scene involved so much blood and gore that none of us even wanted to party anymore. He ended up ok. Has a gnarly scar for the rest of his life, but at least he didn’t actually lose his hand.
5. From user TheLikeGuys3:
At a high school house party back in 2012, this one girl got so cross faded (drunk and high), and I accidentally walked in on her in the restroom.
She was peeing on the floor right next to the toilet. Like, straight up, had her pants and panties around her ankles, hands on her knees, and was just letting loose.
She didn’t seem embarrassed by me witnessing this, but she said she didn’t want to “contaminate” clean water, and that “someone might wanna drink that.”
That was one of my more confused boners.