Read This If Your Drunk Alter-Ego Sabotages Your Sober Self

How to Deal with the Trials and Tribulations of Your Intoxicated Persona.

Last night I drunk texted my ex. Actually, let me re-phrase – last night my drunk evil twin sent a cryptic “E-MAIL” to my ex for no apparent reason.

Yes. That happened.

And she lied through her teeth and completely led some poor former fling on, making him think she’s 100% still into him. Nope…she didn’t stop there! For her big finale, she gave her number out (like Oprah gave out cars) to men who her sober self wouldn’t go for in her right mind. F*CK. MY. LIFE.









Why are drunk personalities always so completely opposite of our normal selves?! At this point in my life, 2-3 drinks is enough to put me over the edge. I do not drink often so when I do, I feel the tipsiness instantly. I then start to transform into an invincible, confident, and well – ballsy free-spirit.

Because of my inebriated second self’s bold nature, I decided she deserved a name. I named her Lola… and no, she isn’t a showgirl.

Instead, Lola is a pain in my ass.

This alter ego of mine constantly tries to wreak havoc on my life in ways that sober me would never even begin to fathom. From her awkward sexy dance moves to her cocky flirty nature to having constant diarrhea of the mouth, there is nothing Lola won’t do.












Funny enough, as humiliating and debilitating as Lola can be, I have developed some sort of respect for her. You see, Lola doesn’t give a flying f*ck. How freeing it must be to live life with no filter! The idea of saying what you’re feeling (even if I TOTALLY disagree with majority of Lola’s actions) and owning who you are is very special. Recently, I decided to embrace Lola’s cloudy minded decisions and go with the flow.










Most of us tend to beat ourselves up for things out of our control. So what if you drunk texted someone at 2am no reason except for your own amusement? Who cares if you ate half an artichoke pizza after seductively dancing up on some 22-year-old at the club? We have all been there! We’ve all had moments that were a mix of repulsion and embarrassment.

Maybe its time we take our sometimes shameful behavior for what it is and move on.

In all honesty, accepting the bad with the good can be life-changing. If you have the ability to accept all parts of yourself (as ugly and terrifying as they may be) you will become that much better off. And most importantly, you are not alone here! Pull up a chair, grab a cold one, and let us cheers to the hidden demons inside of each and every one of us who never fail to keep things interesting.

Kudos to our drunk personas! May they forever bring out the unfiltered sides of ourselves and keep us on our toes. How boring our lives would be without them!







P.S. Lola – keep doing your thing girl!

Just please, don’t EVER contact my unworthy ex-boyfriend EVER again – or anyone else I have zero interest in for that matter.