Adulting is hard – really, really hard. Now that I’m paying all of my own bills, scheduling my own doctors appointments and responsible for buying my own groceries – I low-key miss the days where my mom was helping me out. As kids, we want to grow up so badly – before we realize it’s a huge trap.
Is that after work, errands, and chores around the house are done, I have about three hours on weekdays where I can do what I want if I want to get a decent sleep.
That and working five days and only getting two off is seriously depressing.
For me, it’s the endless march of time. Every week – wake up and go to work. A few days off, then wake up and go to work. Wash, rinse, repeat, and if you’re lucky, in 40 years you’ll have enough money saved to retire. I’ll probably have to wake up for work another 4500 times!
And this is all with me LIKING my job. I can’t imagine what it’s like if I hated it for whatever reason.
Honestly, the worst for me was realizing that very few people ever grow up. The petty shit that people fight over as kids just evolves into bigger conflicts when they’re adults.
You know what everything costs, and everything seems too expensive relative to how much work it takes to earn the money.
When you’re young, someone is probably going to be there to bail you out. When you’re older, you are supposed to be there to bail out other people. You have to worry about yourself, your family members, your kids (if you have any).
People looking to you like you can fix it, and you have to stand up and take a swing at it because there isn’t anyone else to pass it to.
I think the worst part for me is how it becomes harder to make/keep friends. Back in school you were stuck with people all day and had a chance to develop and maintain friendships that way, but you actually have to make an effort to meet and see people once you’re out in the world.
If you’re more of the introverted type, it can feel like a really big hurdle to force yourself to go out and socialize – not to mention the discomfort from having to be around unfamiliar groups of people. And good luck if you have more solitary/individual hobbies instead of something like team sports.
Now that I’m middle-aged, I can feel my intellectual and physical diminishment starting. It’s horrifying. I perform some of the same mental work tasks that I did 20 years ago, and it doesn’t come as easily as it used to. I can’t even imagine how stupid I’ll be in another 20 years. I’ll probably repeat stuff like an old fool. I can’t even imagine how stupid I’ll be in another 20 years.
How easily your life and lifestyle can be completely ruined by circumstances utterly beyond your control.
Having to constantly worry about money.
Realizing your parents are going to need you to take care of them one day.
Instead of life feeling like an adventure, you can easily get stuck within the trap of “I have to work so I can live so I can work so I can live”.
And when your work doesn’t fulfill you or you are bored or tired or stressed, you can’t just quit because you’ve been searching for a new job for a year already and giving up your only source of income would be a mistake. Not just because you lose income but because then you risk putting a giant ugly employment gap in your resume which makes it even harder to get employed again.
The unspoken competition of it all: Degree or trade by 22. Job by 23. Relationship by 26. Marriage by 30. Mortgage by 32. Kids by 34.
Fuck, I’m 36 and don’t even have the second one at the moment. 0/6 baby.
I think the worst part is the inevitable pieces of your heart that get left with people, or places you’ve lived. The reflections and memories of friends from the past, and the whole acceptance that things do change, and you’re still going to be okay.
Changing is hard, and growth and actually learning how to be better people is incredibly challenging. But it’s still pretty damn awesome, most of the time.
Seeing 1/3 of your paycheck disappear before it even makes it to your bank account.
Mistakes and decisions have actual consequences, rather than just being something stupid you did at school today.
Thinking about how much time you’ve wasted being lazy. Even if you have a rich and fulfilling life. It’s like damn I could’ve spent so much more time doing things instead of playing another video game.
The ever dreading thought that “this is all there is.” I’ll work until hopefully I’m lucky enough to retire and then die. It’s all about perspective though, unfortunately that’s mine.
How terrifying it is to have a kid. Suddenly your own death is not the scariest hypothetical situation. Pales in comparison to the thought of something horrible happening to your kids.
Being defined by the job you do.
Everything just feels like it’s running out. The battery on my phone, the gas in my car, the money in my bank account, the miles for the next oil change, the data on my phone, the time before I need to be in bed for work, the clothing I’m wearing… you just constantly feel like you’re losing everything.
There are no longer external barriers to doing what you want, only consequences. Overspend and you’ll fuck up your credit, overeat and you’ll fuck up your body, fake sick and you’ll lose your job, etc.
Taxes and death.