In relationships, some people are not always honest.
While being honest and truthful with your SO is imperative to the health and success of your relationship – every now and then, a white lie slips into your conversations. It can be as innocent as
“Did you finish the ice cream in the fridge?”
“No babe, def not.”
And, while these little white lies seem super innocent and harmless – as it turns out, any lie you tell your SO in your relationship can have a negative impact on your own individual health and your relationship’s health overall.
According to a new study published in Medical Daily, when you tell a lie, it can have harmful effects on your entire life. The study was conducted by Columbia Business School, who studied over 13,000 people and a variety of “lies” they’ve told within their romantic relationships. The lies range from little white lies – like the ice cream one – to big, bad lies – like cheating.
Here’s what they found:
The majority of people who lie within their relationships were those who lied about their wandering thoughts and desires. Often times, we romanticize life with other people – unrealistic even, like celebrities, or a waiter at a restaurant we thought was attractive. But, we’d never tell our partner this to their face, trying to not hurt their feelings or cause any rifts in the relationship because ultimately, we’re not going to leave them.
The second biggest lie in the relationship had to do with finances – like being embarrassed by how much you make or how much money you have saved.
While these seem completely normal and healthy to keep from your SO, the study says that it’s really unhealthy, for you personally, because you subconsciously feel guilt about the dishonesty.
According to the study’s authors:
“Secrets exert a gravitational pull on our attention, and it’s the cyclical revisiting of our mistakes that explains the harmful effects that secrets can have on our well-being and relationship satisfaction.”
The study showcases that we obsess over thinks that are left unsaid and worry about whether or not our partner is going to find out what we are trying to keep hidden away. This takes over our attention and we focus on this, day in and day out, way too much.
While we can be living in our life and relationship – open and guilt free – we choose to torture ourselves to save face or appear unlike we truly are. This, of course, is unhealthy within itself and does not make any relationship last longer.
No one is perfect and people have things they aren’t proud of within their life, but, it’s important to be honest in your relationship in order for it to remain natural and truthful. You wouldn’t want to be with someone and fall in love based on lies or half-truths, right?