When we take a look at our friends – we’re constantly evaluating and reevaluating our self worth based on who we spend our time with. If someone makes us feel badly about ourselves, we often times think to create distance and put space within the friendship, making more room for people who are “nicer.”
But, have you ever stopped to think about just why people are being “harsh” on you? Maybe it’s not a personal attack towards you, but instead, the tough love you need to push you forward and become a better version of yourself.
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According to a new study from the University of Plymouth, your “tough friends,” are actually better friends for you – because they’re only trying to show you what is best for you. While you think that these people are ill-willed and malicious, it turns out, they really have your best interest at heart.
The researchers found through their control group of 140 adults that the subjects who were “tough” on their partners were more “empathetic” towards their needs and feelings. In fact, they were hard on their friends because they wanted them to succeed.
The study’s author Belén López-Pérez wrote:
“We identified several everyday examples where this might be the case — for instance, inducing fear of failure in a loved one who is procrastinating instead of studying for an exam.”
So, the next time you’re taking a look at your inner circle and wonder why your BFF is being such a total b*tch – maybe it’s because she is trying to push you to be a better version of yourself. Show her a little appreciation, rather than cutting her off so soon.
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