8 Reasons To Ditch The Toxic People In Your Life

Bye, Felicia.

Selfish is a word that has a really bad reputation in society. People always claim that selfish people are narcissistic, uncaring and, often times, straight up mean. Think about it: Anytime you watch a movie, the mean girl is always portrayed as selfish. Whenever a villain is introduced, they are selfish.

Yet, being selfish can sometimes be healthy. Being selfish gives people insight into their lives and what they need as a person, not what others need from them.

There are hundreds of times in life where we put ourselves aside to make other people happy. We sacrifice our own time, dreams and passions to make everyone else around us happy.

But, what about when the ones we’re striving to make happy don’t make us happy?

Letting go of toxic people doesn’t make you mean; it makes you smart. There will be friendships, lovers, relationship partners, college courses and majors that will hinder your growth as a person.

Letting go means maturing. It’s time to let things go:

1. If they’re not allowing you to grow as a person

Sometimes, people can hold us back. They can be stuck in a position or time in their lives that you have grown past. They still want to party every night, while you’re more interested in building a career. It’s okay to be on different pages, but it’s not okay when they make you feel bad about moving forward.

If someone is hindering your growth as an individual, you will ultimately be unable to succeed. If you’re so engrossed with trying to balance the situation, you’ll forget to really focus on you. Letting go of these types of people will be both beneficial and a source of relief.

2. If they make you unmotivated

If someone is unhappy in their life, they’ll want you to be unhappy to. There’s an old saying that “misery loves company.” If they are making you unhappy and unmotivated, like you’re not doing the right thing or are not on the right path, cut all ties with them. You are who you are, and you need to support yourself. They can dwindle in their self-pity if that’s their choice, but don’t let them drag you down with them.

3. If you’re unappreciated by them

When you are in a friendship and relationship, you always want to give your all. If someone is making you feel unappreciated and takes advantage of you, that’s a red flag to get out and get out fast. Don’t let people walk all over you; you are a person, not a doormat. The stronger your backbone, the further you will get in life. Letting these people go will only leave room for the people who do appreciate you.

4. If you’re putting in more effort than you’re getting out

Any relationship or friendship is a two-way street; sometimes the effort will be unequal, but it should never always be an unequal effort. I’ve had friendships where I was always giving 100 percent of myself and my time and getting maybe 25 percent of theirs. Ultimately, I had to let these people go.

No matter how busy life can be, good friends and people will try their best to make an effort. If they don’t, it says more about them than you. It’s time to give 100 percent to yourself and not them.

5. If all you do together is gossip and talk badly about people

If all you do is discuss other people, it means that you two may not have anything in common or less than you originally thought. This can be a bad thing. It’s not to say that you only have to be friends or in love with those who are solely like yourself, but when all you’re doing is causing drama, it’s unhealthy and a waste of time.

6. If they only come to you when they’re in need

We all know people who are “problem friends;” the ones who always come running when they need something and that’s it. You are not a therapist. Everyone has their own problems, and it’s okay to be there for someone you love when they are in need, but if someone is never around unless they need something from you, well…we call that a “mooch.” Don’t let them take advantage of you. Let them go.

7. If they never truly listen

If you’re all ears for someone and they’re never all ears for you, their priorities are out of order. They are uninterested in your life and your success because they’re jealous or just don’t care. Bottom line, these people are toxic to keep around.

Why would you want to be friends with someone who doesn’t have enough respect to listen when you speak. These are the people who will hurt you in the end because they ultimately don’t know you if they aren’t paying attention to you.

8. If you’ve outgrown them

Outgrowing people is natural. Life is crazy and unexpected and people mature every day due to situations and changes. When you experience any of the above issues, which we all have, it comes down to unequal growth. Sometimes, we become someone who is unable to put up with the drama, and need to eliminate the toxic stress that weighs us down.

It’s important to surround ourselves with people who want what’s best for us and will lift us higher. Let go of anything that weighs you down, better things lie ahead.

This article was originally published by Alexa Tanney on YouQueen.com