I’d never tell you that it’s okay to tell a lie, but I will tell you that being 100% honest all the time isn’t worth it.
Have you ever told someone how you really feel when a stranger asks how you’re doing in an elevator? It never goes well. Trust me.
Here are some other things people are lying about as shared in this revealing AskReddit thread.
When you ask them ‘how’s it going’ and they say ‘it’s going good’
“i have read and understood the terms and conditions…”
How much their side hustle nets them
That they don’t pick their nose.
The stability of their relationships. You’ll notice the people with the shittiest relationships will always be posting pictures and lovey shit on social media.
Whereas those with good relationships are too busy living their best life with their partner and too busy to really post anything.
DENTIST: “How often do you floss?”
ME: (avoiding eye contact) “Uh … I think it was a week ago?”
I’m a farmer and this is one of my pet peeves.
It’s expected that every farmer you talk to will lie about how well their crops did. When you meet an honest one who tells you their actual yields it’s a really awkward conversation because you’re taken back by the fact you don’t have to apply the bullshit factor to figure out what his yields really were.
I have a neighbor who always wants to know your yields first and then automatically applies a 10% increase to his. I don’t even think he realizes he’s doing it, but it’s always reliably 10% more than yours.
The way crop insurance works in our area is that farmers report their actual yields (they have to show receipts for delivered grain) and those averages are made available to other farmers like us that want to buy insurance. Comparatively, our yields are always just a bit higher than average….but I’m always the worst farmer in the area when the “how did your crops do this year?” conversation starts.
“Any plans for the weekend?”
I’m going to get baked, jerk off, then sit in the shower and think about what sort of person I am, what fucked me up, and what I can do about it going forward.
“Oh you know, probably just relax.”
edit: since this seems to resonate with so many I’ll preach for a moment. Mental health issues and substance abuse aren’t uncommon bedfellows. There are resources out there for you if you think you might need them. I ended up needing meds for the depression and anxiety, the best decision I ever made. Keeping weed doses low and infrequent has been huge in staying out of the ruminating death spiral. I hope you’re all okay. And if not, maybe it’s what you can address going forward. Good luck out there.
“I’m not addicted I can stop whenever I want”
The other day I sat at my desk at work, watching another man type the word “lol” in a message to me. He did not laugh. He didn’t even smile.
Why they’re late
I’m not late often but when I am it’s usually because of something ridiculous where if I said the truth it would sound like a lie.
How often they clean their bed sheets
Their income. So many lies.
When people say goodnight they don’t sleep until much later
How busy they are.
Everyone at every job I ever had never stopped talking about how busy they are….like…have you mofos ever been busy in your life? I will show you what busy looks like!
Sexual prowess, especially younger men.
That parents don’t have a favorite child. Please.
I comprehend that I’m wrong and some people do actually believe the Earth isn’t round, but my brain legitimately breaks against that concept that anyone could buy into the theory. Just an immediate “you don’t actually believe that, no one’s that stupid, you’re trolling” reaction.
About their productivity levels. If you’re not busy, you’re not a good person /s
“I never peed in the shower”
Steroid abuse in the fitness industry
How much they care. Most people don’t care about much and just take stances on things to sound or feel important.
Well pretty much anything that comes out of a politician’s mouth
How little sleep they get. I feel like people compete to act like they get 30 minutes of sleep a week when that’s not the case.
My 5-year-old saying she washed her hands.