Sadly, bullying and sexual harassment are too common an issue. Although we’ve come a long way in handling it, there’s still a lot wrong with how we treat victims in these situations.
For one Redditor who constantly received unsolicited dick pics and countless harassing messages, she took it upon herself to find a way to get them to stop. The messages kept coming even after going about it “the right way” and reporting them to her college campus.
So, what was she to do? She sent screenshots of the messages to their mothers.
After reflecting on her decision, she turned to the popular subreddit “Am I The A**hole?” (AITA) to find out if she was right in going about it the way she did. Here’s what she said:
AITA for screenshotting messages guys sent me and sending them to their mothers?
The Original Poster (OP) Explained:
“I’m an 18 year old girl who is in college atm. I’ve been getting bullied/harassed by three guys in my class who have taken to messaging me online with rather gross/harassing messages and nsfw pictures that i’m sure you can all fill in the gaps without me going into detail. I should have reported them or just blocked them but I had, had enough so I screenshot every message they’d sent me and found their mothers through their facebook pages and sent screenshots to them including an explanation of who I am and how their sons have been bothering me.”
“Their mothers were horrified and shocked by what I sent them explaining what was going on and all three are on my side. Some of my friends think this is genius and exactly what they deserved but some of my other friends think I took it too far and it was out of line to put that on their Mothers and also how I don’t know what their home life is like.”
“Am I the asshole for doing this? Should I have gone about it another way?”
“Edit due to questions/comments: When it was just standard bullying I reported them but they only got a warning, the messages/pictures started after that as if to prove I couldn’t do anything. I figured reporting them again wouldn’t work so did this.”
“Edit 2: also whoever reported me as worried about my current mental health…thanks? I mean I’m honestly good but thanks.”
The Following Are Acceptable Responses:
NTA – Not the A**hole
YTA – You’re the A**hole
NAH – No A**holes Here
ESH – Everybody Sucks Here
Commenters Overrwhelmingly Responded NTA:
“NTA. The people saying you took it too far are the same ones who would defend those guys’ behavior as ‘just guys being guys.’
What they were doing is organized sexual harassment, which needs to be forwarded to the school administration. Those are rapists in the larval stage.”
— Urdrago
NTA. Each of these guys could potentially be charged criminally; instead, you told their mothers. I applaud you for employing a method that will ensure they have some kind of punishment from their families. To be clear, it may not be any more effective overall than reporting to the police, but it’s worth the shot.
As for your friends who say you took it too far, I’d ask them how far they think the three guys have gone, and whether that’s too far? Then tell those “friends” to eff off.
This is chef’s-kiss perfection
NTA
Smart as heck
Please ditch any friend who said this was out of line. Men who don’t know how to behave get either mom or the police. You chose well.
“This is gold! NTA. You actually chose an option that would cause them less trouble for their future. Most colleges have pretty strict rules about bullying. They might have been kicked out. You picked the more effective choice without destroying their future. TBH even if you had chosen to report them to the college, you would still have not been the ah. Bullying and sexual harassment should never be tolerated.”
— Allyzayd
“NTA. They shouldn’t be sending you stuff like that without your consent in the first place! It’s disgusting that some guys think that’s okay to do!”
OP Replied:
“Unprovoked dick pics from randoms are just part of being online as a girl my age, that’s whatever. I block those and move on…or if I’m particularly bored send back bigger better dick pics but the fact these are my classmates really got to me especially some of the things they were writing and how they are bullying me on campus too.”
“Couldn’t you report them to your school because they’re harassing and bullying you?”
“I’ve tried, they got warnings but nothing else. The College is “against bullying” but only in so much as they say they are, they don’t do much. messages started after that as if they were proving there was fuck all I could do.”
“NTA. You did ‘report’ them, just to a different kind of authority. They had no expectation or ‘right to privacy’ of the messages they sent you. Good for you.”
“NTA.
What kind of awful people put the feelings of their friend’s harassers over the feelings of their supposed friend?!
The police probably would have done nothing.
Whatever app you are using probably would have done nothing.
I think what you did was smart. You put them on blast, but privately, so if they retaliate in a more public way they look even more like assholes.”