“My friend had just received a meat grinder for Christmas. His girlfriend was upstairs resting. Husband and I were eating when friend walks into the room.
Husband: “Hey [friend], where’s your meat grinder?”
Me: “She’s upstairs taking a nap.””
22. Technically true
“Friend 1: “They sure have crazy warnings on packages these days. For example, on my kid’s Batman Halloween costume, there was a warning label that said ‘Caution: wearing cape does not enable wearer to fly.’”
Friend 2: “Of course not, Batman can’t fly.””
23. Kids again
“Mother and daughter (she was probably 7 or 8) sitting on the park bench across from me eating lunch. When the daughter started picking the crusts off her sandwich her mother said, “Please eat the crust *name, it’s the healthiest part.”
The daughter looked at her mother with teasing innocence and replied, “Please explain how the baking process makes healthy things rise to the surface of dough” and went back to eating.
I was so surprised at her I failed to process the humor for about 30 seconds, at which point I awkwardly laughed to myself. Good day at the park.”
24. Painful lesson
“I heard an older gentleman of about 60 say on the phone while walking off the golf course, “I only hit two balls today, and that was when I stepped on a rake.”
Maybe that’s a common golf joke, but I’d never heard of it and thought it was great.”
25. Greek tragedy
“My brother and I were in the cinema watching some second rate action movie. There was huge action scene going down and one of the enemies gets shot in the foot and immediately drops down dead. Some guy at the back decides it’s really witty to shout, “WHO DIES FROM BEING SHOT IN THE FOOT DUDE COME AWN,” at which point several of his friends guffaw along.
A second or two pass and my brother and I simultaneously say: “..Achilles?” ONE man laughed. He was about 50, and had the most magnificent moustache I had ever seen. That was all the justification I needed.”