12. Your future self is talking shit about you.
11. The first person who inhaled helium must have been so relieved when the effects wore off.
10. If wookies have a 400 year life span, then Han Solo is basically like Chewbacca’s third dog.
9. It would be weird if a human yelled out “Anyone wanna f*ck?” but birds do it all day and nobody cares.
8. If race horses could comprehend that victory meant a lifetime of leisure and sex they’d probably run even faster.
7. If you’re no longer covered by your parent’s health insurance, your manufacturer’s warranty is over.
6. Sleeping in is considered lazy, but going to bed early is not.
5. You know you’ve reached adulthood when your bed is in the middle of the wall instead of in the corner.
4. A different version of you exists in the minds of everyone who knows you.
3. The only part of your reflection you can lick is your tongue.
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