If you’ve ever been in a relationship, you’ve almost certainly been in a bed full of farts. It’s impossible to sleep together, night after night, and not let one slip. If you’ve somehow managed to keep your significant other from sniffing your butt bouquet, maybe see a doctor. You should be farting much, much more. However, how you choose to deal with these bloopers is a matter of etiquette. You can have good fart etiquette or bad fart etiquette. Finally, there’s a handy guide to which is which.
Comic artist Wendy Chen is based in Seattle, where she illustrates characters for her Facebook page Messy Cow. Most of her comics are about the every day trials and tribulations of relationships, featuring adorable little figures struggling with all the usual human anxieties. Chen recently spoke with Buzzfeed about her comprehensive guide to Farting In Bed. She covers every option for secreting a toot, as well as possible repercussions for each style. I’d say Chen is overthinking it, but I’ve also done basically all of these things. She’s just tapping into the fart marketplace.
Chen explained, “I ate all kinds of food and often ran into this problem. I was curious how other people handled the situation but it’s a hard topic to bring up in casual conversations. So I decided to make a comic about it and find out what other people think.”
She has gotten quite a response, saying, “I was happily surprised how many people were open to discussing it and there were many creative ways than I could think of. I recommend to use my comics as a guide and test it step by step. If your partner showed disgust at a certain one then stop going down the list.”
Reading this list with your partner is a pretty good way to test the waters—or the air.
So, where do you fall on the bed farting spectrum? if it’s incompatible with your SO, that’s very unfortunate. One of you is either going to suffer in silence until they suffocate, or hold it in until they burst. Neither is a pretty picture, but love is worth the sacrifice.