Tattoos are as sacred as they come. Tattoos are special. There is a window to the soul. They are art for your body. And your body is your temple and it is yours to decorate however you please. But even the most sacred of things have rules.
1. Thou shalt remember that tattoos are FOR LIFE.
People tell you this all the time, and it can get really annoying, but if you listen beyond the thinly veiled disapproval, there is a bit of truth.
Tattoos are forever. Even if you get them removed, they will leave a scar. Let that be the first thing you remember.
2. Thou shalt not get tattooed while inebriated.
Most tattoo artists won’t even look at you twice if they so much as SUSPECT you’re drunk or high.
BUT, if they do agree to tattoo you, remember that alcohol thins your blood, so you’ll probably end up bleeding a lot more than you would’ve expected.
3. Thou shalt attempt to get tattooed in a legitimate tattoo parlor.
That is to say, at least TRY to get tattooed in a place that isn’t at the back of a perpetually going out of business electronics store on Jamaica Avenue.
4. Thou shalt take into account that tattoo artists use needles.
Most people who have tattoos will tell you that it’s not the same, and they’re right.
However, if you are EXTREMELY phobic of needles, you might want to either psyche yourself up or reconsider. Freaking out in the middle of the actual tattooing is not ideal.
5. Thou shalt take GOOD CARE of thy skin.
You paid good money for a good tattoo.
Moisturize that thing. Don’t let it get sunburned. DON’T PICK AT IT. Treat it like you’re in an art museum.
Look, don’t touch.
6. There shall be no other names besides thee.
Please, please, PLEASE reconsider getting your significant other’s name tattooed on you. Reconsider it hard. Because tattoos are forever.
And most relationships are not.
7. Thou shalt show off at all opportunities.
Listen. That shit is probably beautiful. Be proud. Flaunt it everywhere.
8. Thou shalt never judge another’s ink.
Even if it is the literal ugliest thing you have ever seen, they’re probably in love with their tat and it isn’t your place to say anything negative about it.
Even if it’s actually super fugly.
9. Thou shalt learn the best method of cover-up.
Unfortunately, employers still seem to think that your tattoo is somehow indicative of a terrible work ethic.
If you’re going into a field where your tattoos might be a problem, invest in some decent cover-up. Sometimes, you just gotta take one for the team (even if that team if just you.)
10. Thou shalt ignore thy haters.
Your body. Your art. Your rules.