I went out to have a drink with a friend a couple of weeks ago and she opened up to me about her recent struggles with depression. She’s never been depressed before – it’s a new occurrence in her life. She has been out of college for three years now and hasn’t found a job that she is happy with – one she can build a career out of. Her parents are on her to move out and get her own apartment, her friends are all moving forward in their careers and relationships – and she feels as though she’s stuck at a standstill in her life.
She is worried that everyone around her is looking at her as a huge failure. She is worried that she won’t find a guy who will love and appreciate her because she’s not “where everyone else is” at this moment. She is worried that she’ll never move out of her parents’ house because she won’t be able to afford it. She is worried that if she quits her job because her work is meaningless and her boss is outright awful that she’ll never find another one.
She is worried because of everyone else. She is worried about what everyone else thinks of her. She is worried she’s not good enough for everyone else. She is worried about everyone else’s desires – but her own.
When is it that we stopped being little kids with big dreams and high hopes and turned into adults who are too scared to mutter simple sentences in fear we may offend someone standing next to us?
When is it that we stopped wanting to set goals for ourselves and stride to meat them and turned into adults who settle for the just-just?
It’s about damn time we take back what is ours – our journey.
Now, I know it sounds super f*cking cheesy for me to say that – the whole “it’s your journey and no one else’s, stop letting people control your destination” – but it’s damn true.
For far too long, we as adults let everyone around us dictate what we do, where we go and how we act. We’re so worried about what other people think of us that we tip-toe around our own dreams and desires to compromise and satisfy everyone else. Why? Seriously – why?
Every relationship I have been in has come trickling down to one problem – every guy I’ve ever dated has had a problem with the way I work. I’ve always worked several jobs growing up – a few restaurants here and there, a few writing gigs here and there. After graduating college, I worked full-time jobs, while maintaining a part-time job on the side? Why? Because I make my own path, I work to build an empire for myself.
Every relationship I have been in comes to the breaking point where my significant other says to me – they have a problem in the amount that I work. They don’t feel as though they are my main priority. They don’t feel appreciated enough. They don’t feel as though they are getting enough attention.
I decided a very, very long time ago to never apologize for the way in which I view ambition. The way in which I view work ethic. The way in which I set the foundation of my life out for myself.
I decided a very, very long time ago to never let anyone else’s needs get in the way of my own.
I decided a very, very long time ago to never give up on myself, my dreams or my goals.
And – you shouldn’t either.
Forget what everyone else is doing with their life.
They’re not you.
They will never be you and they will never have all of the wonderful, quirky, amazing qualities that you have been hiding away for far too long to satisfy them.
Own your sh*t. F*ck where everyone else is at in life.
Do you.