Getting your heart broken can change your life completely. One minute you believe in love and soulmates and the next, you never want to date anyone ever again. While getting your heartbroken can be traumatic and hurtful, it can also teach you valuable lessons in life that you can take with you moving forward. Recently, u/rate_my_pizza asked Reddit users to share the biggest lessons they’ve learned from heartbreak, and it will really open your eyes.
1.
There are always men who will want to take advantage of how I feel about them. Theywill lead me on, give me hope and then abandon me once their fun is over. If I feel instantly attracted to someone, I don’t show it anymore. I wait and see what they’re like really, and then make a decision. I will not be used again. –loss-jpg
2.
Not to ignore the red flags. I had multiple red flags with my ex where he made it so blatantly obvious he would choose anything else above me (his guy friends, shadily texting an ex when I had told him it made me uncomfortable etc) but I chose to believe whatever excuses he’d give me because I loved him so much & love conquers all right? Nah, when someone shows you who they are, believe them. The right person won’t put any of those thoughts in my mind. –lindsyeg
3.
I’m not entitled to anything from any guy. Just because I want it to happen doesn’t mean it will. –DunmerLover
4.
That you’re actually fine on your own. When you’re codependent it’s very hard to see yourself being ok without that person. It’s the best feeling to know you are actually fine without them! –AnneFranksDrumSolo
5.
If someone really valued and cared about you, you don’t even have to ask and plead them to show you effort and affection. Actions tell you more than words so stop making excuses for them. –catherine-asdfghjkl
6.
Trust your gut. Abuse doesn’t need to leave bruises. –Lindaero
7.
I’d rather be alone than with the wrong person. –Ruphuz
8.
That sometimes walking away isn’t “giving up”. I use to think that it was and that everything could be fixed by talking about it and fighting to make it work no matter what but a good lesson to learn is knowing when something is dead and not worth your energy and when it can/should be saved. –MuffinBottomTop
9.
Love isn’t enough. There’s so many other factors needed to make a relationship work. Sometimes you love someone so much you need to let them go so you can both be happier. –qaxwsxedc
10.
It doesn’t matter how safe or secure, or how much love there might be in the relationship, nothing is ever permanent.
That happiness comes from within. There is no timeline or deadline for healing. Healing is not linear. It’s important to love yourself first before you love anyone else, and it’s something that is incorporated within your lifestyle that’s to be practiced daily.
Focusing on yourself, career, ambitions, health, friends, family will nurture and cultivate the self-love. –tiptoptiffy
11.
Set boundaries and hold to them. If they break one then they feel they can break them all. –tallcappy
12.
Just because you’ve taken a big break from someone you know is toxic, and then reconnected, doesn’t mean they care about you more than they did before if that all. –mynameis_reek
13.
You shouldn’t have to give up your body to make him stay. –thelonearchaeologist
14.
If you feel like you’re in a relationship with someone but they never make it clear or official, then it’s not a relationship and it’s time to move on. Some people just like having you around for their own ego, or keeping you around just in case. –fluckyou
15.
If someone tells you they aren’t good for you, listen. Never get back with an ex. –urask8rh8er
16.
You can love someone with all your heart and they can be perfect for you in every way, but that doesn’t mean that you’re meant to be together. Your goals and future plans have to align in order for a relationship to work, and love alone won’t fix that. –MajesticLilFruitcake
17.
Don’t lose yourself when they hurt you. Don’t become what they are because you’re in pain. Stay above it. Be good, keep loving, remember the good person you are. Don’t let them ruin you. –Pugblep
18.
Not to fall in love with someone’s potential. Meet people where they’re at or your expectations will let you down every time. I always say that heartbreaks show you what you want, what you don’t and what you absolutely will not tolerate. There’s always a lesson and room for growth. With each failed relationship I learned to love myself more. Now that I love myself wholly, I’ve found someone who feels the same about themselves…and we’re in turn crazy about each other. That’s what I think the key to a healthy relationship is. Being successful individuals makes for a successful relationship. –stephaniebws
19.
That I never want to feel like I’m someone’s mother, rather than an equal partner. I don’t mind taking the reins here and there, but I’m not in a relationship to parent someone. –novascotia3898
20.
That the phrase “love is blind” isn’t just referring to the fact that you’re idolising the other person but also misinterpreting the situation that you’re in. –octoneko
21.
Sometimes, you don’t get an answer. You have to keep going anyway. –blahblahbrandi
22.
That it literally, physically hurts as if your heart actually broke. I guess I’ll be ready the next time it happens but man I was legit petrified like I thought I had a heart failure or something. I had no idea I cared about him and loved him this much.
Also that thing about the heart vs. the brain. I actually got mad at my emotions because in my mind I knew a 100% that things were right as they were but my emotions seemed be of a completely different person’s. –borukick
23.
Afraid of being alone was all the more reason to be alone. Went through a significant break up in December after a 5yr relationship. I wish we didn’t choose to stay in something that we knew was so deeply codependent and incompatible for that long. My ex isn’t a bad person but we constantly brought out the worst in each other. This breakup has made me look at howunhealthy I am in relationships and how I really need to get my shit together before I even begin to dream about dating again. I’m also really turned off from dating/relationships for the first time in my life. I think I like being single. –ee112358
24.
Their faults are not your fault. No matter how much they try to convince you otherwise. You did not break them and you cannot fix them. –Kms5549
25.
When someone shows you who they are, believe them. –CapriciousBea