This week is one of those weeks that feels longer than any other—partly because of daylight savings time, but partly because there’s been so much bullsh*t has been going on. What we all need, of course, is some humor to break up all of the horrible news. Who doesn’t love some hilarious tweets about how awful our lives are and how unhappy everyone is? Three cheers for self-depreciation.
1.
https://twitter.com/karleemma/status/1105681316928868353
2.
https://twitter.com/tabir/status/1105637269740941312
3.
https://twitter.com/Spencee_daddy/status/1105495016296861697
4.
My husband just bought ice cream with raisins. So, that was a fun marriage.
— smerobin (@smerobin) March 12, 2019
5.
https://twitter.com/BunAndLeggings/status/1105983652507217920
6.
my brother got a pikachu suit and my dog attacked him pic.twitter.com/QLZJeaLQgC
— eq (@spork_girl) March 7, 2019
7.
I forgot the word for manicure and asked my mom how her handjob was
— Tank.Sinatra (@GeorgeResch) March 10, 2019
8.
me trying to explain 2019 to my grandchildren pic.twitter.com/IpnphDHKDK
— ellie sunakawa (@elliesunakawa) March 11, 2019
9.
When I’m playing Uno and someone uses a “draw 4” pic.twitter.com/UM9KonriLv
— Jake Berg (@itsjakeberg) March 9, 2019
10.
https://twitter.com/alezander/status/1106026615836893185
11.
De-boned chicken with breadcrumb crust and tomato reduction. pic.twitter.com/Iq7sWLEN6v
— SCOTTY – FKM (@BasedLaRock) March 12, 2019
12.
I wonder what all the IG models are doing today on their off day
— GABRIEL (@gabrielzamora) March 13, 2019
13.
https://twitter.com/josslynnn_/status/1106236465481158656
14.
sharpay was right: this is not what i want. this is not what i planned. and i just gotta say. I do not understand.
— ☽ (@LIPGLOSSEDCUNT) March 13, 2019
15.
Thotiana billy madison edition is fried😂🤷♂️ pic.twitter.com/1XeCUc3YHd
— Sam Schmelzle (@SamSchmelzle) March 11, 2019
16.
Cap: “Whatever it takes”
Hawkeye: “Whatever it takes”
Black Widow: “Whatever it takes”
Iron Man: “Whatever it takes”
Me, lying in my bed half awake: “Whatever it takes”— Adrian (@adroidirl) March 14, 2019
17.
https://twitter.com/itssdarwinn/status/1105624543417323520
18.
For the last FUCKING TIME, the answer is ALWAYS YES pic.twitter.com/DDBiTrRr6P
— Adam Ellis (@adamtotscomix) March 11, 2019
19.
[Lori Loughlin trial]
JUDGE: Does the defence have any witnesses?
LAWYER: We'd like to call Jesse Katsopolis
JUDGE: Isn't he a fictional character?
LAWYER: Yes, your honor
JUDGE: Is he just gonna act hunky and say, "Have Mercy"?
LAWYER: Yes, your honor
JUDGE: I'll allow it
— Todd 'Papi' Carlos (@TheToddWilliams) March 14, 2019
20.
https://twitter.com/jackieaina/status/1106004369785253888
21.
https://twitter.com/finesse_ur_mom/status/1105644126635216896
22.
https://twitter.com/heyitsriss_/status/1103869603875176448
23.
get in loser we’re going to cognitive behavioral therapy
— kate (@kaiteasley) March 4, 2019
24.
https://twitter.com/localnim0/status/1103013126998495232
25.
your mcm thinks (a + b)² expands to a² + b². do better sis
— fka sids (@yungsids) March 8, 2019
26.
12 year old me standing at my moms doorway at 5 am to tell her I threw up pic.twitter.com/DPQnWU190A
— Noel 🇵🇷 (@NoelSznn) March 8, 2019
27.
https://twitter.com/ryanjjvance/status/1103372254161850368
28.
https://twitter.com/thomasjeferstan/status/1103398861417136128
29.
https://twitter.com/AsiaDNYC/status/1103438962503438336
30.
Once I Say " Oh" Or "K" Or " Mhmm" My Attitude Is Now Activated 😂🤦🏽♀️
— Julianna Vivas (@juliannarvivas) March 14, 2019