If you, like me, have found yourself enthralled by HGTV, then you have probably also passed some judgments about the couples on House Hunters. Judgments such as, “Who cares this much about granite??” and, “If I hear you say ‘open-concept’ one more time I’m gonna throw a full pizza box at my TV screen.”
One of the most mystifying aspects of House Hunters, however, is the fact that many of the couples on the show have an exorbitant budget which belies their seemingly modest professions. Sure, we may be tuning in to watch these people buy a house, but, um, can we also get some info on their financial planning and/or exorbitant inheritance?? I’m sorry, but a $1 million budget requires just a bit more backstory.
For everyone who’s ever cracked wise about the house hunters on House Hunters, these jokes are for you:
1.
2.
[House Hunters Episode]
Husband: I'm a dog walker
Wife: I'm thinking about starting a fashion blog
Both: Our budget is $938K
— JR Hickey (@JRwilldoit) April 20, 2017
3.
[House Hunters Episode]
Husband: I am a professional pizza delivery guy
Wife: I am a substitute teacher
Husband: Our budget is $975,000.
— jason alava (@jalavalamp) April 20, 2017
4.
{House Hunters Episode}
Husband: I make floaty wings for large birds
Wife: I teach early-2000s alternative to orphans
Our budget is 950k
— Jax (@Jaxson_Davis) April 20, 2017
5.
[House Hunters Episode]
Husband: I sell gently used toothbrushes on eBay.
Wife: I draw on eyebrows.
Husband: Our budget is $950K
— Drewid (@midwestfilmbuff) April 20, 2017
6.
[House Hunters Episode]
Husband: I'm a porcupine quill gatherer
Wife: I ghost write a testicular health blogBoth: Our budget is $749K
— Trebor with a Bee (@TreborWithABee) April 20, 2017
7.
(House Hunters episode)
Husband: Hi, I blog for SB Nation.
Wife: Hi, I'm a Subway sandwich artist.
Husband: Our budget is $1.8 million.— LG (@LGhail) April 20, 2017
8.
[House Hunters Intergalactic]
HUSBAND: I'm a half-witted nerf herder.
WIFE: [incoherent Jawa language]
HUSBAND: Our budget is $950K
— Hand Solo™ (@RdrJay47) April 20, 2017
9.
[House Hunters]
HUSBAND: I'm an office manager
WIFE: And I'm a dentist
HUSBAND: Our budget is $250k bc we like to live within our means
— Hiblake (@hiblake0) April 20, 2017
10.
House Hunters intro…
HIM: I'm a hat critic for a blog.
HER: I found a cigar box containing 2 gold coins.
HIM: Our budget is $1.4m
— Jeremy Gibbens (@afterglide) April 20, 2017
11.
[House Hunters episode]
Husband: I restring toy ukulele's.
Wife: and I volunteer at the blind dog shelter.
Both: our budget is 900k— Lady Kryptonite™ (@_ladykryptonite) April 20, 2017
12.
On the next House Hunters…
Husband: I give slide whistle lessons.
Wife: I'm a stay-at-home astronaut.BUDGET: $1.6M
— Andy McDonald (@iamandymcdonald) April 20, 2017
13.
{House Hunters}
Husband: I sell used car air fresheners
Wife: I teach sign language to local garden rabbits
Both: Our budget is 1.2 mil
— Olivia Bortner (@OliviaBortner) April 20, 2017
14.
[House Hunters episode]
HUSBAND: I'm a freelance hamster trainer
WIFE: And I tune harmonicas part-time
HUSBAND: Our budget is $950K
— Valerie (@ValeeGrrl) April 19, 2017