People Share Their Best Non-Swearing Insults And They Are Actually Frickin’ Brilliant

Saying bad words is fun and all, but it isn’t always appropriate. For example, you’re not really supposed to say offensive stuff around kids, or your boss, or your parents (SUPPOSED TO, but hey, we do it from time to time). Plus it makes you look really angry and not very smart if you pepper your language with cuss words. The alternative: a pithy or sarcastic saying or quote that gets the message across in a keen, intelligent way. Some people got on Ask Reddit to reveal their own go-to “safe” insults.


Straight from Shakespeare “I wish we could become better strangers”


Adapted from Bob Dylan’s “Positively 4th Street”,

I wish that for a moment you could stand in my shoes, then you’d know what a drag it is to see you


I had a teacher tell some kid “Nothing you have to say is of any consequence…to anyone.” He was an odd teacher who kinda talked like that, but it was his version of savage. The room lost its shit in unison.