16. She doesn’t want to hurt her wrists.
A girl told me she had to delete some photos off her phone because her phone was feeling too heavy. Same girl thought potatoes grew on trees.
17. Maybe she thought Jesus invented the camera.
“When I worked at Barnes & Noble, I had a customer ask me if we had any photography books from Bible times.”
18. It’s pretty obvious you guys aren’t meant for each other.
“I made the mistake of telling a dream I had to a few of my friends. My fiancée’s roommate’s friend, who was there at the time, interpreted the dream to mean my fiancée and I should call off the wedding, and attempted to get our circle of friends together for an intervention to tell us we shouldn’t get married. The dream was that I joined the band Maroon 5 as a Clarinet player, but I couldn’t find a reed.”
19. That’s a ton of catnip.
“I was in the car with my sister and one of her friends once, and we drove past a marsh with a bunch of cattail plants in it. My sister said, ‘Look, cattails! Did you know Native American women used to use them as tampons?’ Her friend said, ‘GROSS!,’ was quiet for two minutes, then said, ‘God, you’d have to catch a lot of cats!'”
20. Now that is some fuel efficiency.
“Shortly after Malaysia Airlines Flight 17 was shot down in Ukraine, I was out to dinner with my cousin. In that time she brought up the topic and said to me, ‘I am sad that the plane was shot down but it’s good that we finally found it. I didn’t know planes could stay in the air so long.’ She thought that the Malaysia Airlines flight that got lost in March was the same plane that got shot down in July and it had just been flying around since then.”