Needless to say, weddings aren’t always good.
Sometimes they go off without a hitch and everyone’s happy. Sometimes there’s some awkward stumbles but everyone kind of gets over it or has fun with it. Then there are the weddings that are just… well, disasters.
A wedding is a clusterf*** of emotions, pressure, family, and bad dancing. No one really knows how to handle them, and sometimes they go so wrong that you end up telling the story for the rest of your life.
Take these folks, for example, who participated in a Reddit AskWomen thread about the worst wedding disasters they’ve ever seen. Warning, these may seriously make you think twice about ever participating in holy matrimony:
1. From user ongobay:
Not strictly speaking me… but my husbands sister makes cakes. She made a wedding cake for a middle aged couple (on the brides second marriage) & drove almost 2 hours to deliver it. Anyway, the groom got so drunk before the ceremony that the registrar refused to marry the couple. The registrar offered to come back and hour later to try again. However, the groom carried on drinking and got even drunker. The bride refused to marry him, her sons ended up beating the groom up & the police got involved. The cake was used for the wedding party that evening by the bride celebrating her new found freedom…!!
2. From user retteket52:
Not my wedding, but this was a real bossy bride. During the rehearsal dinner the bride got each of her bridesmaids up on stage one by one and had the hairdresser give them all matching bobs.
Honestly the tension and awkwardness as she announced this surprise “fun matching hair initiave” was real. It was weird seeing grown women getting up on the stage and receiving the chop one by one. There were definitely some tears as the bride provided live commentary and urged the hairdresser to go shorter on a two of them.
One bridesmaid left early and the bride called her up on stage during the reception to “make up for what she missed out on”. Again it was so weird and people were clapping and laughing, but it wasn’t normal. That poor woman clearly didn’t want to but was peer pressured to come on stage. That was a mistake as she left with the shortest bob of all of them.
I found out later there were some unresolved issues in that group of friends and it pretty much fell apart after the wedding.
Bride and groom are happily ever married though.
3. From user stopinthenameofsign:
My cousin and his very sweet now wife got married two years ago.
Hands down the biggest shitshow of a wedding that I have ever seen. First off, they got really unlucky with the weather, and what was supposed to be nice cool fall weather ended up being a heatwave with a dust storm.
In their culture, on the day of the wedding, you started the groom’s house, ate a bunch of sweets, took pictures and then headed to the bride’s house to collect her and then go to the church. No one had planned for real food, so the only thing that we had to eat from noon until the wedding at 8 p.m. was super sweet sugary stuff. The air conditioning was not working and we started to feel ill from the heat and sugar. We are all in formal wedding attire.
Things really start getting sloppy by the time we went to retrieve the bride, whose home also didn’t have air conditioning. People were sweating so much, and one of my aunts went to hug an uncle of mine and left the outline of her makeup on his suit, basically stamping his suit with her entire face. From there we had to drive an hour and a half to the wedding venue, and on the way, another uncle gets into a car accident because the traffic was so bad.
Okay, so we finally get to the church. It is steaming outside, 100 degrees full humidity. The first very obvious problem was that they had been planning for an outdoor wedding and many of the dishes that they were going to have for their buffet dinner were mayonnaise and meat-based and sitting outside for after the ceremony.
The second very obvious problem is at the church they chose was a really really old church, like eight hundred years old and it didn’t have any bathrooms in it. So I asked about the bathroom situation and there were only two bathrooms, and they were across the road, up some stairs, down a hallway….for wedding of over 100 people, including elderly people with walkers and canes.
So all that aside, we get in to the church and it’s a beautiful church, bride looks gorgeous, and the ceremony gets underway. In the middle of the ceremony we notice the bride start to sway, and the guests start to murmur….she faints, wakes up, and then vomits on her wedding dress.
She’s horrified, humiliated, and then starts crying in the middle of the ceremony. During this super hot day, she didn’t have enough to drink and she barely had enough to eat, so when everything calmed down her body caught up with her. The priest asked her if she needs to stop, but she waves him onward determined to finish the wedding. The priest says something really nice about how marriage is not about these random happy moments like a wedding, but about the challenges that you go through as a couple and how you thrive from them.
Okay, ceremony over, she makes it through and then we head outside to the heat and the possibly rotting and poisonous food and lack of bathrooms. I managed to avoid most of the mayonnaise based foods, but my brother and sister did not…. they would suffer greatly in the aftermath.
Most guests end up staying for half an hour or so, but it was so unbearably hot that many people start leaving early on in the reception.
The last major thing rounding out this disaster was when my grandfather, on a walker, told my mom that he desperately needed to get to the bathroom. As they were crossing the street to get to said bathroom, my grandfather said he couldn’t hold it anymore and whipped out his penis to try to pee on the street. My mother was horrified, and told him that he couldn’t do that, so he sullenly looked at her, put his penis back, and pissed his pants in anger and frustration.