12. Fun little visual for you from moonboots333:
Not a nurse but a former phlebotomist/health historian for the largest blood collection organization. One of donors was an older lady. Maybe early 70’s. There were 5-10 sexual history questions in a row. In the middle of them she blurts out, “honey, I’ve been dried up for years. Nobody has been diggin in this for a long time.”
13. Do they? Asking for a friend.
a woman came in with inflammation of the vulva and when I asked about her sexual history, she said “do dildos count?”
14. A rattled nurse is my favorite nurse, weazelsniff3:
My coworker is a very conservative christian (only wears scrub skirts, doesn’t cut her hair, etc…). She at one point was taking care of a sixty something year old man who was in for an amputation or something. She was doing an assessment, and asked about the significance of a certain tattoo. “Are you sure you want to know?” “Sure.” Turns out the dude was a trained and certified dominatrix (or whatever the male version is… sorry a little naive myself). He went on to explain the details and requirements of this training to my coworker for a good 4-5 minutes, stating finally that the tattoo was a “trademark” of some kind. My poor coworker walked out of the room with the most disturbed look on her face… wouldn’t give us any details but it takes a fair amount to rattle a nurse, ha.
15. ArgentinianNorse‘s story is long, but hot darn is it worth it! #RelationshipGoals:
When I was in nursing school we had these questionnaire things we had to ask our patients for homework. Most of the questions were pretty simple and basic like family medical history or what current medication they were taking etc etc etc and it was designed to get us used to asking questions and to begin to develop rapport with the patient. Well since this was my first year of nursing school I was still felt little awkward asking the ‘sex questions’ and was nervous when I came around to these questions when interviewing an 85 year old man whose wife was sitting right next to him. The conversation went a little like this:
Me: So..umm sir some of these next questions may be a bit personal and if you are too uncomfortable answering them you can just tell me and we can move on.
Internal me: (please be uncomfortable oh please oh please oh please)
Him: Sure! Go ahead. You need to know all this stuff for your career! Ask away!
Internal me: (Damn…)
Usually there were 5 or 6 questions that i would ask but today I could only get past this one question.
Me: OK sir. Are you and your wife still sexually active?
Him: (Looks up at me, then the ceiling, then to his wife and says) ‘sweetie? How would you describe our sex life?
Wife (without missing a beat): Oh probably that you jumped on a wild hog at the ripe age of 19 and are still hanging on for dear life. (then she leans closer to me and whispers) I try to buck him off every night but he keeps hanging on. (then she winks)
I almost died of laughter. Best response ever.