The beginning of a relationship – for most people – is the most blissful, happy and over-the-moon joyous feeling one can encounter. It’s like the first day of summer feeling, nothing can bring you down. Sometimes, we’re so caught up in our own happiness that we happen to look at everything in our life through rose-colored lenses. We’re so happy that we basically neglect to see anything negative that is surrounding us.
This can be said about our relationship, too.
While your new relationship may be the foundation for your new-found happy self, you may be in such an array of bliss that you neglect to see red-flags that are vital to approach in the beginning stages of a relationship.
Sure, you may not want to end your time in the sun with your newfound partner, but you also don’t want to set yourself up for major disaster either.
1. They have more bad things to say about you than good:
When you start dating someone, you’re initially getting to know them on a deeper level – not just the surface. However, the surface may be something you fixate on for a few weeks because it’s so new and shiny.
If you’re with someone who is constantly criticizing you, your appearance and your behaviors, trying to change them and make you more into someone “they like,” you should run for the hills. You shouldn’t be with someone who is trying to change you from Day 1.
2. They don’t introduce you to their friends, family or anyone in their life:
It’ll take some time to meet everything that is in your partner’s life – especially their family. But, if you start dating someone that wants to keep you separate from everyone in their life, that’s a huge issue.
You are not somebody’s mistress or side piece and if you two are fully committed to each other, introducing each other to your friends is something that will make or break your relationship. It could be a sign that your partner doesn’t take you or the relationship seriously, which is a waste of time for you both.
3. They want to spend too much time with you:
In the beginning of a relationship it’s nice to want to be around each other constantly – but, too much time together can be a huge warning that this person has attachment and abandonment issues.
As well, it can show you that they don’t have a life of their own, which will become an issues later on down the road. While making time to spend with your partner is important, you don’t want to feel guilty when you want to do your own thing, too.
4. They’re always on their phone when you’re together:
Nowadays, everyone is attached to their cell phones. Whether we’re scrolling through social media, texting someone, or reading kick ass articles (like this one!), it seems no one wants to ever put down their devices.
But, if you’re dating someone that can’t ever “log off” their phones to be with you, it shows they don’t value your time at all. They also don’t value interaction with you. They should be more concerned with making the most of your time than seeing what their friends are posting online.
5. They talk about their past relationships way too much:
Sure, it’s important to know where your partner has come from in order to understand certain relationship aspects between you two, but, you don’t need every detail about their ex’s. You certainly don’t need to know about their past sex-life with other people, or how crazy their ex’s were.
If they’re constantly bringing up their ex’s, it shows that they aren’t really considerate of you or your feelings. It makes everyone uncomfortable.
6. They lie about little things:
Any lie is a red-flag, no matter how big or small. Saying that “their phone died,” while they were out and that’s why they didn’t text you, or “forgetting you had plans,” are just small ones – but they post bigger problems down the road.
If someone lies to you about the small things, who is to say they won’t lie to you about the big things?
7. They have cheated on someone before:
Some habits are hard to break. It’s important to get to know your partner full-circle. And, while you don’t want to hear every detail about their past relationships, it’s vital to know if they had bad habits (cheating) that affecting their relationships in the past.
Sometimes, these habits can hurt you down the line. If they have cheated on five of their ex’s, what’s stopping them from cheating on you?
8. They spend more than they bring home:
In the beginning of a relationship, money doesn’t really matter as much as you would think. Sure, you’d like to know if your partner has a full-time (or even part-time) job, because you don’t want to date someone with no motivation.
But, when you’re with someone who is constantly living beyond their means, In the long run, this can become a larger issue in your relationship. It’s also important because you don’t ever want to become someone’s ATM.
9. They drink, do drugs or party too much:
Having fun when you’re young is important, you don’t want to date someone who never wants to leave the house. But, it’s also important to know when to stop or take a break. If you start to date someone who doesn’t go a week without drinking or partying, you have to ask yourself if you can ever take that person seriously.
If someone is constantly drunk or high, how can you ever know the truth behind what they say or do?
10. Their priorities are out of whack:
Priorities are important when getting to know a person. If you meet someone who is ambitious with their job, but also puts their family high on their list of priorities – that’s someone you want to date.
But, if you find yourself with someone who procrastinates on deadlines and neglects responsibilities, that’s something you need to second guess.