How To Prevent Anxiety From Stealing Your Relationships’ Magic

But, you can control it.

If you’re someone who suffers from an anxiety disorder, you know first hand that everyday situations can be difficult to handle. Even the simplest of things can work you up into a panic and cause more stress and worry than the average person. When it comes to relationships, it seems as though nothing can go right when we’re stuck in our over-active minds.

The beginning stages of a relationship are supposed to be bliss and happiness. While nothing can ever be truly perfect, there are those moments where you feel like you’re on top of the world – nothing can compare to the feelings you have in that very moment. But, when your anxiety comes into play, it can ruin some of the moments you want to enjoy and look back on down the line.

Some people don’t truly understand what it’s like to have an anxiety disorder. While the average person may stress and worry about everyday issues – anxiety is this, but magnified 1,000%. We overthink, we overanalyze and we become over-emotional because of it.

In relationships, people with anxiety require a little more love and affection. We pay attention to every little detail in relationships and notice when things change. We trust vibes and actions – we can tell the moment something is off. When we feel this way, we get stuck in our own minds, trapped – lock and key – worrying that we’ve done something to alter the bliss that we were once feeling.

Anxiety can be something that’s hard to manage – especially for someone who has to go through it alongside you. It’s even harder when your SO tells you to just “relax,” and “calm down,” to “cut it out,” and “change,” immediately. It’s not that easy and it doesn’t happen overnight. If you’re with someone who can’t help you and understand that often times, your anxiety is something you can’t control – you are with the wrong person.

However, it’s not healthy to always blame your partner for all of you anxious behaviors. When you feel as though your anxiety is acting up – give yourself a pep talk. Sure, it seems a bit crazy, but if you remind yourself that this is just your anxiety acting up, you can prevent yourself from thinking that everything is falling apart (when everything is actually just fine).

Here’s how you can work on your anxiety within your relationship:

1. Voice Your Needs: 

Some people get anxious within their relationship because they’re unsatisfied or unfulfilled with their partner. But, newsflash – your SO isn’t a mindreader. If you have needs that you want to be filled, you have to tell them. Don’t be scared to speak up, relationships are a two-way street.

2. Listen To Them: 

When you begin overthinking things, it’s because you have unanswered questions or concerns. Sometimes, you’ll be wrapped up so much in your own mind that you haven’t heard what your partner is saying. You’ll think they’re ignoring you, but they really just have a busy week ahead – which they told you about, but you may have missed because you were busy over-analyzing.

3. Stop Comparing Your Relationship To Everyone Else’s:

Just because one couple may be in one stage of their relationship, doesn’t mean you need to be there. Every relationship has its own timeline. You and your partner are together because you have your own special bond. Stop trying to sabotage it by rushing, changing or altering your love life to meet other people’s standards.

4. Let Them In: 

Often times, people with anxiety are ashamed, afraid or unwilling to discuss their anxiety with their partner. But, if you open up to them and just let them know what’s going on, they may be more understanding and supportive than you would think.

5. Stop Blaming Them: 

You are your own person that controls your own thoughts and your own actions. Although a relationship is a partnership, you cannot put all of your negative thoughts and actions on your SO. It’s unhealthy and it’s unfair. Instead, you need to find someone who can help you with your anxiety disorder – a counselor or a therapist. That way, you can come up with better coping mechanisms and regain your sense of self within your relationship.